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I am slowly coming around to a decision of how to improve myself. It's one of those "well duh" decisions, but, well, neuroses being what they are, it's taken me till now to acknowledge the merit of this plan.

And the plan is simple. In theory. It's simply to do one thing a week that I need for my health. Preferably the same thing every week, so that I can slowly build a routine of several good things a week, but the first few months may just be finding what that one thing needs to be.

Now, of course, I have a baseline of stuff I already do, either weekly or daily (proper cooking and oral hygiene, respectively, for example). But I have been downright pigheaded about adding exercise and other things into my life. Mostly because when I do, I tend to overdo it, which leads to injury, which leads to despair and depression and more stress in general.

But, as I've been having problems with muscle tension and related pains, the piece of advice that pretty much every single health provider has given me, my whole life long - to relax (More like, "RELAX, DAMMIT!!!") - has been surfacing more frequently. Meditation, yoga, EMS/TENS, nadi shodhana, buteyko breathing, etc. have all been recommended, and god damn but I resist doing them. (I would happily receive all the massages in the world if they were free, but even that has been tripping me up lately. I had to stop a chair massage the other week after 10 minutes of wonderful Swedish massage because I felt I was going to be sick if it continued any longer.)

But. If I tell myself that I only have to do one thing once a week, then maybe, just maybe, I can persuade myself to do it. Especially if it's something I don't have to pay for. (Why do I have a sense of deja vu now? *sigh*)

Today, for example, I'm going out into the garden. It may be rainy (or not; it hasn't decided), but I have to get my lettuce and radish seeds sown now. And playing with the dirt is a joyful thing for me, and joy is a destressor. So it will count, even if I ache tomorrow (tylenol exists for a reason).

And maybe tomorrow, or next Wednesday, I'll try a session of easy yoga (Peggy Cappy is awesome). And at some point, I'll try the breathing exercises.

But I do not have to do everything all at once! Certainly not at the beginning. Incremental change. It's the only way I can succeed, at this point, with my current resources.

(That's the real, "Well, duh" thing. And while it is obvious, it's still necessary for me to point out to myself, because neuroses.)

Anyway. That's my blather for the day.
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averygoodun42

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