Apr. 3rd, 2016

averygoodun42: (Default)
Last night I was on the edge of a panic attack thinking of how life is squishing the joy and stuffing out of me. I had to repeat to myself that the massive negativity I was feeling was due almost completely to my lack of air. Because, ya know, not being able to breathe properly does tend to bring a sense of doom to a person. (But "Oxygen is for looooosers!")

Sure enough, I woke up this morning able to breathe (thank you, Mother Nature, for the cool air), and life has already taken on a warmer tone. Not rosy, by any definition, but not blue, anyway.

Takeaway? Chest colds are evil.

Ooh, speaking of evil, you know what's the devil? Plant catalogs. I am being deluged with them, it being close to planting season, and, daaaaaaaaamn, I wants, precious! But, well, lack of money and space means I will not be adding any potted plants to my garden this year. I did go out and buy $10 worth of seeds, however, two packets of which are for flowers (Picotee Blue Morning Glory, and McKana's Giant Columbines). The others are all veggies, because I haven't given up on veggie gardening yet. Hope really does spring eternal... But now that I have neem oil, maybe I'll be more successful?

Other stuff... You know what? I don't want to get into it. Life is not rosy, though. It's not completely doom and gloom, but it's looking like life will be very difficult for another year at least, especially financially. And I have to decide how much further into debt we'll go... Do I finish off my teeth while paying for Geoff's shoulder surgery or do I put it off (and risk paying more for the delay)?

So yeah. Life is trying to squish the joy and stuffing out of me (us), but it's not as bad as I felt last night. Because I can breathe. Because there are options. Because there is still hope that things will improve in time.

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averygoodun42

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