Also

[averygoodun42]

A really, really stupid article on name change, specifically women changing their names after getting married.

It was vaguely interesting until this bit: "Splitting the difference by keeping both names, as many women do, "is a recipe for confusion," one woman writes in an email. She kept her maiden name professionally but uses her married name sometimes outside work. Now, "I never know how to introduce myself," she says. Her driver's license bears one name and her voter registration the other, and she receives summonses for jury duty in both names.


Um... As someone who kept her name, I can say that it's not that difficult unless you make it so. I am not offended and will answer to Mrs. Husband's-Last-Name should I be called that, but, really, all the legal documents and such are in my name. Because, well, that's who I am legally. And if an introduction needs a last name, I use my legal name so as to avoid such idiotic confusion.

*rolls eyes at idiots*

Though to be fair, the (only) other example (on having both names) the article gives is stated clearly and intelligently.

Comments

[julesndairyland.livejournal.com]

First, WSJ - I really dislike most of their articles.
Second, the article was mostly just biased and chauvinistic. The comments to it almost made my head explode.

I also decided not to change my name when I married, for the reasons you outlined. I do answer to Mrs. Blah Blah but it was mostly used by 1) teachers at school bcz my son has my husband's last name and 2) son's friends because (see #1). And I still have a knee-jerk reaction to look for my mother-in-law when I hear it.

I find it very sad that much of our culture demonizes women (and men) who vary outside it's out-dated norms. Forcing a change in identity is a remnant of seeing women as property, not a sign of respect or love. And making women schizophrenic by using 2 names to try to conform and also be their own person is just plain nuts.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

WSJ suckage knows no bounds where women are concerned. And I didn't dare read the comments for exactly that reason.

So far I haven't had any issues with teachers, but then, Page is only in kindergarten, so there are many more teachers to go through. But so far, everyone who's called has asked for "Page's mom." Which I answer to, as well. ;-)

It is sad, isn't it? The name changing thing has been sentimentalized without people really thinking about the basis of the tradition.

[julesndairyland.livejournal.com]

Usually I'm Kyle's mom but sometimes it's Mrs Blah Blah. They mean well and I don't get arsed about it.

Generally people do not think about how they speak/act and the origins of what they say or do. "Rule of thumb" is a saying that gets me every time - I just cringe. "Gyped" isn't far behind. Usually when I tell people about this kind of stuff they are horrified. They have no idea.

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

I went through a similar process to consider hanging on to my own name, but then I heard about married couples, with different last names, applying for mortgages and getting major shit from the mortgage companies about why their last names are different if they are married, and the issues of kids with parents with two last names and assumptions and issues.

My career hadn't really quite taken off, so I did the name change for the fact I'd be battling the rest of my life with bureaucratic assumptions and hassles if I didn't.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Huh, the only places I've had trouble with having a separate name are places where only the account holder can do stuff (unless permission is given), and that wouldn't have changed had I changed my last name. The only thing the mortgage companies cared about was that I signed my middle initial on all the documents, not that I proved I was married. I don't know if they even have the right to hassle over marriage status.

Quite frankly, by the time I got married, I didn't give a flying fudgcicle about other people's assumptions. Geoff was marrying me and I was and am my full name (and vice versa). If Page ever has issues with his friends, we'll deal with it, but honestly, there are so many mixed families out there that I can't see it ever being an issue. Or rather, we don't, never have and probably never will run in circles where it could be an issue.

[littleone-17.livejournal.com]

I've kept my last name. I don't really run into problems with it. I do answer to Mrs. ___ and honestly sometimes he answers to Mr. 17. Generally though, I use my surname and he uses his. No issues. I am leaving my options open. I may at some point decide to change my name, but I may not.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

I considered changing my name for a nanosecond after Page was born for his convenience's sake, but honestly, I can't be arsed to conform for the outside world's sake.

Besides, having separate last names is good for screening cold calls.

[mundungus42.livejournal.com]

So very lame. Remind me not to read any WSJ opinion/soft articles. Blech!

I kept my unmarried name partially because I saw no compelling reason to change it and partially because Mr. 42's last name is Smith. He even threatened to take my name for a time :D But I'm never _offended_ if people call me Mrs. Smith by your reasoning precisely. If we ever spawn, we'll probably give offspring a hyphenated name, and they'll sound delightfully posh. :D

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Hee! When I was young, I swore I would change my name if my husband had something more interesting than mine, which is along the Smith line for originality. Then I met Geoff, who has a genuinely interesting last name, and decided to keep mine 'cause that was who I was. Page, however, goes by Geoff's name (though we were tricksy and included my name in his full name).

WSJ has been sucking mightily of late. Not that they never sucked before, but at least it was less offensively sucky. (Or maybe my memory is trashed. ;-)

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Oh, and on a related note, I know of a couple who fused their names into a brand new name they both used. No hyphens required. I think he's one of the few men I've met who has changed his last name.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

I seriously considered keeping my own name on marriage, seeing as there are only girls in my generation and the name dies with us. However, on being called "stupid" by my father with regard to this issue, I decided he could screw himself and his name.

And very happy with my married name I am.

However, when we moved to Switzerland I found that I was to lumbered with a double-barrelled "husband-father" as a name, despite my explanations of the fact that I had legally changed my name upon marriage.

And on moving to France, while I am allowed to be in most respects "Mrs Husband's Name", on official document I am "Ms Father's Name".

This disregard for me and my choices makes my blood boil when I think about it, so usually I don't. At least in France they can regard it with humour. "It's in case you want to get divorced - makes everything simpler," says Madame Bureaucrat to me, with my husband standing beside me.

In an ideal world, I would have a name that was my own.

Failing that, I want the name I have chosen. Once I go back to the UK, this will happen.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Ain't tradition grand? And the overzealous correction of traditions is just as grand. (Though got to admit, that's hilarious.)

I don't disagree with changing a name, as it's a very individual thing. My sister changed her name, my sister-in-law didn't. (I don't think she did, anyway. I hope not, as her last name is/was awesome.) I don't see why it is an issue at all, frankly.

One of my friends thinks it would be grand if we didn't even bother with last names. I'd be Mrs. Elizabeth, Geoff would be Mr. Geoff. I think it's an impractical idea, but nice.