Hello Anxiety, and how are you today?

[averygoodun42]

Well, Page is at school today. His inhaler is with the school nurse. Everything is as it should be and going smoothly.

And I just want to hide under the covers and hyperventilate.

Obviously, I am not doing that (I don't have a laptop, let alone a tablet), but the anxiety level, it is high. *breathes deeply*

I'm not sure why this is freaking me out quite so much. Yes, asthma is not to be taken lightly, but, well, I've dealt with it before and have mine under control, my dad has pretty much beaten his Very Serious asthma down to nothing, and everyone and their brother knows someone who has it, so pretty much everyone knows what to do in the unlikely event that an emergency takes place.

I guess I just feel like everything is slipping out of my control. The house is dirty enough to stink (which is bad for the asthma), I haven't been cooking (which is bad for my energy and health, which in turn affects, well, everything), and Geoff has been so very tired lately...


I am trying to see the good things and concentrate on them (the birthday greetings I received, including two wonderful cards from my boys; banana nut muffins that turned out okay despite forgetting the soda and salt; medicines that will make Page much better; heating pads and naps), but it doesn't relieve the tight feeling in my chest (that has nothing to do with asthma).

It feels like I have become incapable of making good decisions.

However, I do know that life feels better when doing, so I either need to open up my document and write (which hasn't happened since Saturday) or get cleaning. And if crying happens along the way, so much the better.

Comments

[humantales.livejournal.com]

It's always harder when it's your kids. (I deal with the same thing with Max and depression.)

Doesn't sound like bad decisions; it just sounds like you're overwhelmed. Hugs and positive energy to you all.

[sbrande.livejournal.com]

When Hudson was diagnosed with severe asthma at age 3 1/2 I thought, 'WTF?' No one, and I mean absolutely no one in my family has EVER had asthma so I didn't even know the signs or symptoms of an attack. Thankfully he only had one really bad one (he was coughing for like 3 days straight when he was about 4) and I took him down to the doctors. The nurse immediately asked if he was asthmatic and I said yes. She then rushed him down to the room and put him on oxygen. I felt like a hopeless parent at that point, not even knowing my child.

At least you know the signs of asthma.

Now he carries around a puffer with him. Where ever he goes. He has been on all different types of steroids to help his lungs develop, which has unfortunately made him fat. His one saving grace is the fact that he LOVES to dance.

Don't worry about it (I know it is easier said then done) you will get through this.

I am here if you EVER need to talk about anything. Hell, I've been up since 3:30am cause I had a bad dream.

Loves you, take care of yourself as no one else will and the household will fall to pieces if you are not well, Sonia :)

[blueartemis07.livejournal.com]

~tight hugs~

[m-mcgonagall-65.livejournal.com]

You've had a very stressful few days, so it's no wonder you're feeling anxious. Give yourself some time to adjust to the news--it's always scary when something is up with your child, but you will adjust. So will Page.

*hugs you*

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised by the anxiety either. You *have* had a horribly overwhelming few days with very little time for coping, so now that the immediate panic is over you're dealing with the residual panic/anxiety.

You are capable of making good decisions. You've *been* making good decisions. There's just...a hell of a lot to handle. =( I wish I could come offer to houseclean for you.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

Big hugs. Page's asthma will be managed and all of this will soon be routine.

[zalena.livejournal.com]

What I hate about good decisions (and virtue generally) is that very often the right decision doesn't necessarily make one feel any better... especially right away.

What I would recommend (not that you're looking for advice) is doing something immediately gratifying.

Lately, I'm so exhausted I'm hard pressed to make ANY decision, much less a good one.

Do you have a vacation coming up soon? (You mentioned passports.) Mine is in approximately a week!