This is something I think about everyday as I take stock of my own situation. Despite the fact that one of my friends (one who I respect very highly) told me that he's constantly agog with everything I do ("You make me feel lazy," he said.) I generally feel like a slacker and a loser.
Or more to the point, I feel like I will be perceived as such, primarily because my current life situation. I've been back in CO three years now. I'm still living in the trailer and driving the Time Machine. And I am unemployed, again, for what is the fourth time in as many years.
For the past two months I've been feeling pretty good about my situation, and incredibly lucky. But going to that reading a few weeks ago, and seeing all my former co-workers, made me feel like I had my confidence cut out from under me. I've been in this gloomy, Eeyorish mood where I can't imagine anyone liking me or wanting me ever since. (Marla's defection didn't help! Neither has the situation with Jason, which I'm not writing about here.)
One of the horrible things about that reading was how BAD my former co-worker's contribution was. The fact that she could even get the collection of stories published was particularly disheartening. Who would publish that crap? All these people whose lives and work I considered impoverished compared to my own looking down on me made me feel horrible, and worse, dellusional.
Your dream is interesting (and beautiful, you should save it to look back on later) because it addresses several functions of the artist. First, I think it's noteworthy that the irritating artist is young. One of the things I always remind myself about is that being an artist of any type is a lifework regardless of one's natural talent. Hopefully this person's talent will improve with experience and discipline. (And so will yours!)
His enthusiasm is also notable, because I think that's one of the things we often lose with maturity. I think about how irritating I find G at times, particularly when he wants to share his projects with me. So much of that enthusiasm is a function of his age. He still believes that the world will recognize his beauty & talent without much effort on his part. I try to avoid qualitative judgements when I'm around him and tell him to keep writing, to be aware that sometimes these thing take time, and that I am very impressed with how much he writes.
Another piece of the puzzle is the problem of engaging in a creative community with its inevitable conflicts of both ego and preference. We all know how horrible it is to be in a situation where we have to be nice about a persons work because it is appropriate politically.
Could the dream be about you? Not only how you perceive the works of others, but fear of your own work being judged? (Or how you critique your own work.) Creative expression of any kind is very risky and very personal. This is the number one thing I think of when I encounter anyone's work, that it was a risk for them to reveal this and that I have a need to respect the spark within.
Finally, there is an artist in your area I think you should be aware of:
I know you usually don't like the work of other painters, and have no idea if you'd like hers, but we put some of her work on one of our book covers (the author bought the painting) and I found I kind of liked it.
There is also a woman who does abstract quilts of Hubble telescope pictures out here, whose work I would love for you to see.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-06-18 03:56 pm (UTC)Or more to the point, I feel like I will be perceived as such, primarily because my current life situation. I've been back in CO three years now. I'm still living in the trailer and driving the Time Machine. And I am unemployed, again, for what is the fourth time in as many years.
For the past two months I've been feeling pretty good about my situation, and incredibly lucky. But going to that reading a few weeks ago, and seeing all my former co-workers, made me feel like I had my confidence cut out from under me. I've been in this gloomy, Eeyorish mood where I can't imagine anyone liking me or wanting me ever since. (Marla's defection didn't help! Neither has the situation with Jason, which I'm not writing about here.)
One of the horrible things about that reading was how BAD my former co-worker's contribution was. The fact that she could even get the collection of stories published was particularly disheartening. Who would publish that crap? All these people whose lives and work I considered impoverished compared to my own looking down on me made me feel horrible, and worse, dellusional.
Your dream is interesting (and beautiful, you should save it to look back on later) because it addresses several functions of the artist. First, I think it's noteworthy that the irritating artist is young. One of the things I always remind myself about is that being an artist of any type is a lifework regardless of one's natural talent. Hopefully this person's talent will improve with experience and discipline. (And so will yours!)
His enthusiasm is also notable, because I think that's one of the things we often lose with maturity. I think about how irritating I find G at times, particularly when he wants to share his projects with me. So much of that enthusiasm is a function of his age. He still believes that the world will recognize his beauty & talent without much effort on his part. I try to avoid qualitative judgements when I'm around him and tell him to keep writing, to be aware that sometimes these thing take time, and that I am very impressed with how much he writes.
Another piece of the puzzle is the problem of engaging in a creative community with its inevitable conflicts of both ego and preference. We all know how horrible it is to be in a situation where we have to be nice about a persons work because it is appropriate politically.
Could the dream be about you? Not only how you perceive the works of others, but fear of your own work being judged? (Or how you critique your own work.) Creative expression of any kind is very risky and very personal. This is the number one thing I think of when I encounter anyone's work, that it was a risk for them to reveal this and that I have a need to respect the spark within.
Finally, there is an artist in your area I think you should be aware of:
Patricia Lebon-Herb
I know you usually don't like the work of other painters, and have no idea if you'd like hers, but we put some of her work on one of our book covers (the author bought the painting) and I found I kind of liked it.
There is also a woman who does abstract quilts of Hubble telescope pictures out here, whose work I would love for you to see.