averygoodun42 | Entries tagged with rl

Last night I was startled to realize just how many of my decisions have been based on the assumption that I will or would die young. I mean, the awareness of that assumption has been there off and on, like pushing Geoff to make more friends here so that he'd have a support network should I die (not so that he'd be healthier and happier, but so he'd have help), but it never occurred to me that it was so basic to my being until last night.

And looking at it, I see how that assumption has shaped my entire life. Even my reluctance to push myself physically is rooted in that assumption (and fear), because it's based on the fact that when I overdo things, I get ill, and when I get ill, I tend to sense the Reaper quite viscerally. So far it's 4-0, my favor, but it is 4-0. How many times do I get to narrowly escape death? (And this from a person, who at 12, said she wasn't afraid to die... *sigh*)

I have based my adult life around making sure others can be cared for, that I won't cause more distress by dying than by living.

And how incredibly fucked up is that?!

I mean, it's true that I don't want to cause anyone any distress at any time, but... for that to be one of the basic reasons I've tethered myself to life? No. There's got to be more. Especially now that I am a lot healthier mentally and can see just how fucked up that view is. I mean, that line of thought did keep me alive through many dark times. I couldn't bear the guilt of how broken I would leave my mum and Geoff, and maybe Page. But it's a safety line for the climb, not something to hang from one's entire life!

So now I'm back to figuring out what to do with my life... besides prepare others for my death. It's a strange thing. Not necessarily bad, but very strange.

(I've also figured out that I truly am a misanthrope. I like the idea of people just fine, but, besides my family and close friends, I am not willing to put much effort into dealing with anyone. It's why group projects are torture for me. And why I don't have more close friendships. Why would others bother with me when I'm not going to put the same effort into them? Duh!)

I can't read my FB page for more than an hour before I become too emotionally drained to do anything at all. So, there's that. Too bad it takes the disassembling of democracy to treat my addiction.

Lordy. It's all too much. I am trying my best to be as politically active as possible, but it's hard not to feel like end times are upon us. Not globally, I don't think. Just on this continent. Canada isn't even much of a safe-haven, because Trump's rise has empowered the fascist and racist scum there, too. (Not to mention that Canada historically has bent to the will of the States because they would prefer to keep what sovereignty they have.) And, of course, the end times are mainly for those of us who are vulnerable to begin with. Unless a full-scale revolt happens, the wealthy (who pander) will come out virtually unscathed.

Ach well.

Good things exist. Geoff's shoulder is strong and supple enough to shovel the wet muck that fell from the sky. It was only a few inches of the shtuff, but it was particularly heavy shtuff. He also is advancing in other areas that are meaningful.

Page is coming along on the saxophone. He's getting to the point where once he starts playing, he has fun (for the most part). Getting him to start, however... Well. He was startled at the nasty look I gave him last night when he commented blithely that he didn't think of his music being needed for practice. This was after soaking his reed, and futzing about for more than an hour (while we nagged at him every five minutes). He had a good practice, though. Too bad it took him an hour past bedtime to finish it. (I wasn't feeling well yesterday, which probably made the glare meaner than it should have been. We were on good terms before he went to bed.) I'm also super pleased that he's growing perceptive. He's a good man in the making, I think. An oddball, but a good and empathetic oddball.

I haven't been painting, but the basement progresses, and I did sketch out my next painting. I need to sketch it out further with colors today. I'm starting to conceive of a statement to go with this series of paintings. I don't want to use it, though, because I hate conceptual art that much. I am also practicing drawing faces again more frequently so as to be able to teach that better. Now I just need to figure out how to teach basic painting better. So much of it is instinctual for me, that it's hard to give advice that's practicable.

My health is... odd. I'm WAY better than I was leading up to the holidays, but I still feel pretty weak and fatigued. I really need to start exercising more, and meditating every day or else this administration is going to literally kill me from the stress. The trick is to remember to do it (which is a trick, given that my memory is the first thing to go when my energy is low). And I really dislike the amount of energy making decisions takes. I don't dislike it enough to give up my freedom of choice, but weighing things out is exhausting. (And some of it's stupid stuff, too. Like, I desperately need a haircut, but I also need supplies for finishing up the basement. I only have the money for one. And should I forgo both so as to subscribe to Teen Vogue and support the ACLU?)

But on the whole, life is pretty good for me and mine. And there are opportunities to make it better. So that's very good.

And here's hoping you all are doing well, too.

Things are perhaps - knock on wood, do a hail Mary and whatnot - starting to look up.

- Geoff's shoulder is still messed. The orthopaedist says surgery isn't a good option at his age (he's not THAT old, is he?). HOWEVER, he has recently had two injections of cortisone, and movement within the shoulder itself is starting to return. He can now do the PT exercises without having to (figuratively) bite on a wooden spoon. He's under doctor's orders to take it very, very easy on his shoulder for at least a week, but it's better. Hopefully he'll be able to start sleeping through the night very soon, which will help loads and loads in the recovery process.

- Page has been ill, but he does not have pneumonia. Instead, he has thickened bronchial tubes (common in asthmatic patients) possibly caused by bronchitis, and a pleural effusion (effectively a large blister on the lung). The reason we know this is that his shoulder and lung were hurting him a lot when he took moderately large breaths. Since strep and bronchitis have been going around, and the pain wasn't going away quickly, I took him in. The doctor didn't hear any congestion, but sent him for an x-ray anyway. Anyway, since starting the antibiotics on Wednesday, he's improved dramatically, to the point where he's doing his normal "pew pew" bedtime avoidance routine. He's better enough, in fact, that he's at school! First day since Monday! He won't be going to his sax lesson today, though. I'm giving him till Monday to start that back up.

- I don't need a fifth crown! Or, at least I don't need one immediately. Instead, I had a cross drilled into my dodgy tooth. And, since it's a tooth they already worked on (one of the first), they're only charging me for the surfaces that they hadn't worked on (the grand total of which comes to $23). So that's better than the $230 for the first third of a crown...

- The back wall of the basement is ready to be covered. Already, I have most of the pegboard up, so now it's just a matter of getting the paneling. That will have to wait at least a week or so, because Geoff's shoulder needs babying, but that's okay. There's lots of other stuff that needs to be done in the meantime that doesn't require lifting. Or purchasing, for that matter.

- And best, the other day I went to a friend's son's birthday party, not expecting to stay long because of the noise and people factor. Fortunately, this friend knows and completely understands about sensory issues, so besides an understanding smile or two, I was able to retreat now and again without notice. Anyway, while there, but thinking about escaping, another friend came with loads and loads of presents. And it turned out, not all of the presents were for the birthday boy. One, in fact, was for me! She handed me a fairly heavy bag, and in it I found a Nessie tea infuser and a HUGE can of Troika tea.

I nearly burst into tears. I have felt so isolated and... unheard lately, and here she was, giving me a couple things I'd pointed out as being awesome a fairly long time ago on FB. Needless to say, there was hugging involved. And more retreating because I'm an ugly cryer and I needed to get my emotions in check. But anyway, that helped a huge amount. I love this friend, and I hate that we can't see more of each other (even though we live less than a mile apart... She's disabled and not terribly mobile, and I can't go over to see her in cool weather because she has cats). So I have to think of a way to thank her for her thoughtfulness. Beyond giving her more of my plants. :-)

So, yeah. There's still rough stuff, but, on the whole, as long as I avoid the news and politics, life is bearable and sometimes even good. Which, you know, is pretty awesome, considering. This weekend is looking fine, in the weather department, which means that I can get out and finish cleaning up the garden. The strawberries are still plotting a takeover, and I need to nip that in the bud. There shall be no coups in this yard, thank you! ;-)

Cheers!

Last night I was on the edge of a panic attack thinking of how life is squishing the joy and stuffing out of me. I had to repeat to myself that the massive negativity I was feeling was due almost completely to my lack of air. Because, ya know, not being able to breathe properly does tend to bring a sense of doom to a person. (But "Oxygen is for looooosers!")

Sure enough, I woke up this morning able to breathe (thank you, Mother Nature, for the cool air), and life has already taken on a warmer tone. Not rosy, by any definition, but not blue, anyway.

Takeaway? Chest colds are evil.

Ooh, speaking of evil, you know what's the devil? Plant catalogs. I am being deluged with them, it being close to planting season, and, daaaaaaaaamn, I wants, precious! But, well, lack of money and space means I will not be adding any potted plants to my garden this year. I did go out and buy $10 worth of seeds, however, two packets of which are for flowers (Picotee Blue Morning Glory, and McKana's Giant Columbines). The others are all veggies, because I haven't given up on veggie gardening yet. Hope really does spring eternal... But now that I have neem oil, maybe I'll be more successful?

Other stuff... You know what? I don't want to get into it. Life is not rosy, though. It's not completely doom and gloom, but it's looking like life will be very difficult for another year at least, especially financially. And I have to decide how much further into debt we'll go... Do I finish off my teeth while paying for Geoff's shoulder surgery or do I put it off (and risk paying more for the delay)?

So yeah. Life is trying to squish the joy and stuffing out of me (us), but it's not as bad as I felt last night. Because I can breathe. Because there are options. Because there is still hope that things will improve in time.

If it weren't for the wrong frequency (super fast, like daily switcharoos), I would swear I'm bipolar. I'm not, of course. I am depressed and having the occasional good day, but, geez.

Last night I went to sleep "writing" a screed on how deadly western society is. I'm not going to literally write it out, but let's just say that I'm glad I'm loved, as that gives me strength in the face of society's unending, ghastly pressure.

There have been good things, though. Page is maturing. I'm painting. The snow from the late storm is all but gone, and it came early enough that it didn't crush the daffodils. (The crocuses slough them off without a problem, but the daffodils' egos are too big to survive.) I'd post pics, but apparently I don't have enough space to spare here, so oh well. Maybe I'll get around to posting them on my website at some point. (ha ha ha)

Another good thing is that my GP thinks I shouldn't have a problem being approved for disability. I mean, she told me that I will almost certainly have to apply more than once ("I think they have someone whose sole job is to stamp 'declined' on the first application..."), but that's a weight off my mind. I really, really, really don't want to go to the effort required to file for disability only to find that I'm not disabled enough in my doctor's eyes. She thinks it's a good idea.

What else...

Oh, I've been rewatching (in binge fashion) Avatar: The Last Airbender. It really is a very good show. The Book of Korra sequel is okay, I suppose, but TLA is really very good, and not just as a cartoon. So that's, er, good. (<-- how words have been to me lately. Spoken AND written. *sobs*)

Anyway. Still here. Mostly lurking.

Oh, speaking of lurking, does anyone know what's up with

kribu? I've been gone so long, I don't know if there was an event, or if she just slid away like so many have. I've been thinking about her and her mom a lot, lately, hoping they're okay.

I hate making calls. Really, I'm almost phobic about it. Not quite, but it's amazing how long I have to psych myself up to make any call besides one to Geoff. Even calling family makes me nervous.

Ah well. I do need to find out whether Page is a Canadian citizen due to the date of his birth or not. So I guess I will call. At some point. Soon. Honest.

In other news, it was almost 80 degrees here yesterday. I sunbathed (for vitamin D purposes), and even as exposed as I was (sports bra and swim-skirt), I was getting uncomfortably warm by the time my 15 minutes were up.

However, later in the day, I persuaded Page to come outside with me, and I cleaned and weeded the garden while he regaled me with details about the new world he's creating. I had the thought that perhaps JRR Tolkien's mum (or, more likely, his nurse), went through something similar. It wasn't too bad, as my body was busy and my mind idle, but, wow. He can still talk.

While he was talking, I managed to weed most of the strawberries out of the ornamental garden out back. I still have a dozen or so to pull up, but I think I may have a chance of keeping up with them come spring. I also managed to pull up most of the alders that had taken root last year. My poor neglected garden really was neglected last year. I think I got out only a few times in the spring, and then... nothing. For the entire summer. And fall. (I lay the blame on the basement. It sucked everything out of me. Everything.)

But spring is definitely coming. Crocuses are blooming, daffodils and hyacinths are emerging, my honeysuckle is budding, and the creeping phlox is greening. And the grass, too. It even smells oddly fertile around here. It's a month early, but spring is definitely coming. Most people are pretty happy about this, and I figure I might as well join them. As long as we don't get a front-range spring with two foot snow drops that break all the trees and kill all the flowers, I'm okay with winter being done. I certainly don't want a deep freeze to come along at this point!

I have also been productive in the basement. Two wall panels are done(ish), and cabinets have been installed on them. I've also put up one unit of pegboard and organized the more necessary tools on it. It's a temporary storage solution, as many things will go on the as yet unfinished walls, but it's getting there. And it's all accessible!!! Oh, man, is it nice to be able to use the basement to construct things again. And, I am constructing things. I've almost finished the column to cover the support beam, which is the first step to creating the storage cabinet for the laundry area (which will double as an art storage place; it'll be double sided), which should improve life for us me significantly.

Painting... I haven't been so productive. I did put in a week of labor getting "Herald" framed up nicely (enough) so as to put it in the Art Association's Spring art show at the mall. That went up last Saturday. I still have yet to go down to the mall to photograph the show. Ah well.

I've also started sketching with watercolors (well, watered-down acrylics; use what you have) in preparation for a painting I want to do. I overworked the first sketch, but it's not too bad. I'll share a photo of it eventually. I think that also happened on Saturday... Heh.

Otherwise, life has been spent drinking tea and running around in a daze. I sure would like this basement done so that I can take a guilt-free weekend off. But it's getting there. It is. Finally. Almost a year later... *grunts*

Anyway, I ought to go. Lunch to eat, instruments to deliver, husbands to ferry... Yep. Exciting stuff. ;-)

And they're riding just a wee bit high... But fortunately I have to go back to the dentist to get my new cavities filled in two weeks, so the high bite can be dealt with then.

I hate my mouth.

In related news, I think I may have gotten stoned today off of aleve and tylenol during my dentist visit. Not quite sure "stoned" is the right description, but it was close. It felt nice, if a fair bit soporific.

Ah well.

It is school vacation week, so I am trying to cope with the constant company as best I can. This has involved escaping into the basement to work (or just stare) for as long as I dare to (I don't want to incite the pouts of the emo-demon that's taken up residence - things start breaking or going wrong when we interrupt its alone time), and sleeping as much as my schedule allows. And coffee. Coffee is wonderful stuff. Too bad I can't tolerate it more often.

Hell, I even delved into coloring this week. Normally I can't stand coloring because it feels like cheating to me. I'm all for other people coloring for any or no reasons, but it ratchets up my anxiety rather than relieving it. However, I found myself in that uncomfortable state where I was physically fatigued, but not quite brain-dead enough to just watch videos. So, I colored as I watched... whatever it was that I watched. (Fatigue does not help one retain memories.) I chose a geometric design that I've colored like a quilt, though I'm not sure I'll ever finish it. I s'pose that depends on how I feel tomorrow.

*sigh*

Stress sucks. Literally. I am trying to hold onto all the advances I've made health-wise, or at least be able to compare myself favorably to some time in the past, but... I need the basement to be finished and usable and my teeth to be dealt with pronto. And for Geoff to heal! Lord, I miss his touches, but I don't complain (to him) because I know he's in pain, and touching me makes it worse. It's got to be hell for him... But, yeah. I miss that form of comfort and love.

So, yeah. Stress sucks. But I'm - dare I say it? - hopeful that some of the stressors are coming to conclusions. Maybe by the end of March the basement will be finished and usable. Maybe Monday's doctor appointment will be the start of Geoff's healing. Maybe with both of those calmed, I'll be able to deal with my mouth issues without needing ice cream and cinnamon rolls and other (GF) goodies to go with the buckets of tea I'm consuming. Because, yeah, I know that's not doing my body any favors. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it, either, because there's only so much a person can deal with without breaking. And since sticking to the diet along with dealing with everything else was breaking me, and the diet was the only variable I could (and can) control, it's the one that gave.

We do what we must to survive.

Right. Enough rambling. Time to put the bone broth in the fridge and go to bed. Tomorrow has errands and crap to do, so rest is needed.

I hope all is well with you. And if it isn't, I hope you can find the comfort you need to get through it.

Good things!

1. New glasses are on order! My current glasses are just over five years old. I got them when my bout of meningitis worsened my eyesight by a point (+1, not +.1). It seems my eyesight has devolved even more, but only +.75 over the last 5 years, so that's not too terrible. And what's best is that my new glasses should be better (HD progressive glasses? Apparently they are loads better, and not just hype) AND they're less expensive than my current pair was. So yay! I just hope that the lenses are as light as they felt with the plastic in them... They felt lighter than all the other frames I tried on, so it's possible that while they won't be as light as that, they will be lighter than my current pair.

2. Excellent soup. Seriously. It was so good that Page ate it without too much complaint! Best thing is that it was leftovers, so all I had to do was add the sausage to extend it and voila! 15 minute meal.

3. Geoff is better. ( Geoff's not been well for a while, but this weekend was particularly rough. )

4. Page's increasing musicality. He still absolutely refuses to sing in public, unless required by his school, but he'll happily sing at home, especially if he doesn't think we can hear him. What's best, though, is when he sings when he knows we can hear him. So there's that, and his saxophone skills are increasing, though not as quickly as he'd like. Poor guy. He suffers under the "everything comes too easily" curse, which makes practicing difficult (because, really, what's the point if you can catch up in a trice?). Yes, discipline in this house is not a force to be reckoned with, but we do try. Ever now and again. ;-) Fortunately, he's got Star Wars music that is challenging him (of course, it wouldn't be quite so hard if he'd slow it down until he learned the notes, but I'm just a mom...) and therefore keeping his interest, so getting him to practice hasn't been as ~~terrible horrible strenuous~~ difficult. Yay!

5. Snow! Okay, I can happily live without getting any more snow this winter (as long as we get a rainy spring), BUT I am happy we've got the few inches we have, AND that it's going to be getting quite cold this weekend*. I'm hoping that the chill will kill all those larvae that were tricked into hatching by the abnormally warm January and early February weather. Especially the mosquito and tick larvae. *nods* (*Note: We finally have sufficient lodgings for our remaining homeless population, so no one should die of cold here. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so happy about the cold snap coming.)

6. Reduced indigestion. I'm tired of having my stomach (not tummy, but stomach) hurt. If it weren't for everyone else in the house being just fine, I would suspect an ulcer, but none of them have anything close to the same symptoms, so I think it's just my body being an attention-seeking bitch, as per usual. But the good is that the pain has been going away, and even the discomfort is starting to go down. So yay. One less physical stressor. Now to just get my teeth sorted out, right?

Page is obviously ill as he seems incapable of being more than five feet away from me at any point. Well, that and the stomach and head aches. (He's perked up a lot since the tylenol kicked in.) This would suit me well enough if it weren't for the fact that I have conflicting needs of getting homework done (1st draft of the story I'm writing) and napping like a napping thing. Oh, and the weight of the house on my shoulders...

Meanwhile, I am very, very glad that I have job. Our bank balance will remain in the black for at least the next three weeks or so! Yay! I will have to start seriously looking for work come December, though. Hopefully I'll find something besides retail because retail won't work. The unreliability of the hours would make life too difficult. Difficulty is too stressful for me and my silly body.

Life is piling up, and with it, anxiety. The more disorderly things become, the less stable I am. I'm not thrilled about that aspect of myself, but there it is. Unfortunately, Geoff isn't really in a position to help out more than cooking dinner every other night. Granted, he's actually been doing the majority of the cooking... And will probably be called on to make dinner tonight... (I'm such a bad wife.)

But otherwise things are pretty good despite fall definitely being on its way out (I think I may have seen a snowflake today. I hope to hell it was just a stray cigarette ash from the car ahead, though!). The colors are turning rusty, and the skies are lowering. Literally. It's supposed to be rainy and chilly for the rest of the week, and I can only hope that it is lighter the next few days than it was today. I don't like persistent twilight. Ah well. That's me complaining again, isn't it?

But I've now pawned my child off on Nanny Telly, so I should use the time to get to work. I only have a fight scene, a denouement and a Chekov-eque set-up description to write, so I should be able to get it all done tonight, right? (She laughs...)

My best to all of you. Keep hanging in there.

Good: Parenting win. On the way to school, I suggested that Page view the kid who annoys him as a person who just wants to get to know him and see how that affects his perception of the kid. When I picked him up from school, he said he thinks he's starting to get along with that kid. Yay!

Bad: Parenting fail. I can't seem to find a way to get through to Page how important it is to not smell of poop. Or rather, I can't find a way to tell him that without making him feel super insecure. :-( Issues, he haz 'em.

Good: Whatever was weighing me down was lifted off of me. Who knows why I feel so much better today when so little changed, but I do.

Bad: Found out in class that for the next speech, I go the first day. That means I have one week to prepare for my midterm.

Good: I just spent an hour and a half playing and rough-housing with Page.

Bad: I'm exhausted. And I still have a fair amount of homework to do.

Good: This fall is a beautiful one. Simply gorgeous.

Bad: I haven't had the time or opportunity to get out and photograph the places and scenes I really want to capture. Maybe tomorrow...

Good: I didn't have a single smidgen of grain or starch today.

Bad: There is no bad side. I was a good girl and I felt good being good.

And now I have to get to my homework... At least the really hard part is done. *omgpunctuationisimportant!!eleventy1!*

Hope your day was good and that tomorrow may be as well.

So... Yeah. I'm not really on LJ anymore, am I?

That sucks. It was a good thing for a while, but at some point, it started sucking. So maybe this means I'll be a more frequent participant in the near future. I'm starting to catch up on what's been going on with all of you, but, yeah. It's going to take a while.

Life here is continuing in a fairly normal (for us) way. Well, except for me now being employed. It's a part-time, temporary gig, and hopefully the physical labor involved won't kill me, however, I've already earned enough to buy myself a new and good pair of walking shoes. So yay.

Page is in 4th grade. New school. Same problems. I told him today that if there's another incident with this one kid, everyone is going to start looking at it as if he's bullying him, and there might be something to that accusation. He took that to heart, but it still doesn't help. (Poor kids. Both of them. Page is really annoyed by this kid, but I think that this kid really likes Page. I'm not sure what to do... I've advised Page to stay away from him, but, well... That doesn't solve any problems, now does it?)

Geoff is currently five days overdue to return from a three-day business trip, and he won't be coming back till Friday. Late. I asked him if it was possible to set a limit, but, well... He was okay with the Friday limit, though. He'd told the client-boss that tomorrow was the limit, but that was before the thingamajigger had an allergic reaction to the new driver and came down with (cove) light hives. In a planetarium (and other theaters), cove lights being on during the show is a bad thing. It kinda ruins visibility.

And me... It's been a rough week. I've been fighting some bug, Page has been acting up, my new cell phone wasn't working (which caused problems at work - minor, but there), friends are being... *sigh* aggravating, and I'm not getting enough sleep. Oh, and the stress that that new respiratory bug is in NH, which makes me nervous every time Page coughs (which he's been doing more of this week. Probably because of all the cereal he's been eating...). All that has added up to me being utterly and completely useless. Useless to the point of saying that, sure, cereal is a perfectly acceptable breakfast and dinner. And not going in to class yesterday because it would have been an exercise in futility. Droopy, drooly futility. And watching fluffy princess movies instead of doing research...

On the plus side (something I notice most of you have been doing, btw. yay!), starting today I am covered by health insurance. My phone now works. Geoff is getting at least a little sleep every night. Page has hit the ten-year-old sweetness phase. I might have found my muse again...

So, while I'm not looking forward to two more days without a spouse, I think at some point today I started feeling better, so perhaps I'll be able to start scrabbling up the walls of responsibility in the morning. Hope so. There's lots to do, and no one but me to do it.

Hope all of you are well.

On the friendslist, that is. Nowhere near caught up on things that need doing in the here and now... Ach well. If I didn't comment on your entries, I apologize, but I have read back a couple of weeks now. You all got very active here while I was gone and didn't let me know! ;-)

Life here is... life. I think I'm doing the post-stress burn-out thing. I never realize how stressed I am at the time of the stress (school), and I'm great for about three days after the stress ends, but then... boom. Or should I say "crash"? Anyway, I'm okay, but so tired because the subliminal pain is disrupting my sleep. I'm still not sure what to (realistically) do about it at this point. I did take a benadryl last night (I had been itchy all day), which resulted in me waking almost rested, which was nice.

God, I'm bored just typing this out. You've probably already skipped on to the next post. I don't blame you.

Spring here is in full swing, and it's more or less lovely. A lot of rain and cloud-cover, though. My daffodils were glorious. Absolutely worth every penny and bead of sweat. And now my bleeding heart is putting on quite a show, which is also lovely. Next up are the irises, and it's looking like they're going to be kicking it up to fantabulous this year. It makes this garden mum proud, it does.

And it looks like every plant I planted survived. Well, non-bulb plants. I have no idea how many of the 300+ bulbs I planted last fall survived, though a good deal of them obviously did based on the spring show. But even my late-hard-frost-bitten clematis is alive and growing! I hope to get its trellis made before it needs it too desperately.

Page is also doing pretty well. Since he started the controller asthma meds, he's had a LOT more energy. It's been wonderful to see him running and playing and being happy! He's still got issues, but, by gum, there's progress. (Which is something I need to remember, especially as I focus on the stuff that still needs improvement.)

Geoff is... tired. He's been pushing himself lately, and probably will be pushing himself even more in the month to come as the biannual Conference of Doom approaches. Fortunately, he's not going to be on-site. In fact, it's almost guaranteed he won't be on-site, as the site is in China this year, and he doesn't have an entry visa. YAY! (Three weeks is too little time to get even an expedited visa, yes?) However, he's taking a full month off later this summer, so he should be feeling better by the time school starts up again.

Let's see... what else? Geoff and I spent Mother's Day staking the arbor into it's final resting place. I have a bit of repair work to do on the side of the arbor thanks to wind-damage (i.e. it being felled twice by a sharp breeze) but that will happen. Soonish. Maybe. I also made a garden bed out of pallet crate slats. I don't particularly recommend it unless you really have NO money to throw around. Those boards are... cheap. My goal is to have my back garden in good enough shape to have friends over to celebrate my birthday. That's only 3 weeks away, so it might not happen, but we'll see.

I suppose next week I really need to buckle down and start studying for a CLEP. Haven't decided which it's going to be, though - business law or microeconomics? And at some point I need to work on my resume. If I'm going to be applying to temp agencies in the fall, I suspect I need to start compiling and editing now. Because, yeah. :-P

And that's about it except for a to do list that's even more boring than what I've already written. Fun stuff. :-)

( Read more... )

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and for the Americans, may it be a lovely Memorial Day.

- New Year's intentions:

-- call my diet what it is - a lifestyle. 'Diet' implies impermanence, while 'lifestyle' is a far more accurate description of what needs to happen.
-- exercise at least half an hour a week. Build up my sodding muscles to the point where I can start exercising my heart.
-- attend those parent corner meetings at the school.
-- Cut down on ellipses.

( The rest of the bullet points )

That's about it. I hope this coming year brings all of you more pleasure than pain, or at least brings the changes that are necessary for you to become healthier, wealthier, and wiser. ;-)

Cheers!

While so many thoughts and prayers are going out to those in the Midwest and the Philippines, could I ask for a few to come over to New England, too?

A friend of mine is having some serious, female, non-cancerous health issues. She really, really needs to have a hysterectomy, as her uterus is literally killing her and has been trying with increased insistence for a couple years now, but she's more adverse to surgery than I am. At this point, it's possible she might not even be stable enough to have surgery.

So, please send good vibes her way.

Ooooops. Today was supposed to be a mandatory church day (since I signed up for it to be). But I'm sitting at home because I have a paper to start, and a very, very busy week coming up, including tomorrow being a school holiday but not a Geoff!Work holiday (meaning I have Page the whole day long).

I think I really didn't want to go to that workshop...

I wouldn't feel bad at all except for the fact that it's catered, and I'd signed us up with our food restrictions. D'oh!

Ah well.

ION, I just distracted myself from writing this via fb, so I think I should go. Get the morning fun out of the way so as to start the research and writing with a clear conscience.

Erm...

You know what I mean. Maybe. If you do, let me know, K? I obviously will need the distraction. ;-)

I think I'm finally coming down with the cold that's been haunting this house. I say it's been haunting the house because it hasn't actually shown itself through manifestation, it just hints that it's there, lurking... an unwanted presence that will try to possess us should we make one misstep. All of us have been feeling off for a couple of weeks (since the last cold/infection), and, well... I guess I misstepped.

( Tired. Really. )

Anyway. That's my little bitch and moan session.

Good things abound, but they're just a little harder to see through the blur of tiredness. However, the fall foliage has been beautiful, and I have had a very good view of it from my living room. Took a couple of photos of the currently glowing maple that colors our view orange. I missed the opportunity of photographing the other maple that made sitting on the couch a restorative affair. Ah well. Next year.

I had the time to just lounge yesterday away without getting behind on too much.

I was able to be the good guy to Page, despite my off-putting lounging.

I have about 10 quarts of chicken stock on the stove, needing to be dealt with. That should last a while (assuming I deal with it).

My problems are mostly first world problems. Not only first world problems, but (lower) middle class problems. We have a nice home in a safe neighborhood that we're not in any immediate danger of losing because Geoff has a good job with good people. And there's almost always enough food in the fridge (and if there isn't, it's usually because it's shopping day). That's always worth remembering.

ETA: Another good thing is that I won't have to go back to the money grubbers for my next scrip. I mean, I like my psychiatrist, I really do, but I hate the center she works for. So yay. And I just counted up the days and my pills, and I have enough prescription (and refill) to last until well after my initial visit with the new center. Yay!

But, yeah. Tired now. Gonna go make myself something to snack on. I may even choose something healthy. Maybe. It's been known to happen on occasion. ;-)

So far, I am not loving Tuesdays. Something has to change, because the week cannot start this way for the rest of the semester. Especially as relying on Geoff to be here to help is looking like a bad idea/assumption.

I'm thinking Page is going to be going into after-school 2 days a week after all, no matter how he feels about it. Oh, how I am looking forward to that conversation.

Humbug.

- Got my final Word lab to start on. It's due Wednesday. Don' wanna.

- Geoff is home (though not at this exact moment as he's taken Page to the last swim lesson of the session), which is marvelous. We've been walking hand-in-hand wherever we go.

- Lord the acting is terrible in 1st season ST:NG. Absolutely horrible. Not even Patrick Stewart is good. Actually, I think Jonathon Frakes is probably the best one of the bunch, which I find highly amusing. All the others make me cringe. Cringe!

- My house is pretty when it's tidy.

- I've painted this week. Twice. I thought I had finished one of the paintings, but on further reflection, I haven't. It needs glazing for more depth. The other painting is nowhere near finished as it still needs a bajillion layers of glaze to get it to the right colors/intensity. A layer a day should get it there within the next century, though. :-) (<--Artist's math is cool, isn't it? It's like the opposite of Writer's Math!)

- Alone time is happening. Right now! And I expect I can get more of it later on today, too! SO COOL!

- My stomach, while still on the fragile side, seems to have basically recovered from the rancid mustard of yesterday. No more cramping, anyway. Yay!

- Related: we now have non-rancid-mustard-infected food to eat in the house. Double yay!

- Have I mentioned how happy I am to have Geoff back? Cuz I really, really am. Just want to snuggle into his arms and stay there all day. Page wants that too, though, so I guess we'll have to work out a compromise. ;-D

- I suppose I've stalled long enough. Gotta go do my homework. I must say I am really looking forward to Freedom Friday (first day after the last day of class)!

Just got a message inviting me to join the honor society at the college. Not sure I want to, although I imagine it would be good to have on the transcript should I want Harvard to be a possibility (not sure I do want that though, given the commute).

I guess I'll think on it (and research it a bit) and get back to the sponsor tomorrow.

But now I have to go endure the mundanities of life, i.e. go make lunch. Yep.

OhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgodOhgod...

I am so screwed.

I just took the practice algebra test, and I got 41%. Functions and graphing kicked my butt to the door and into the gutter. (I shouldn't count the questions on complex numbers as I haven't reviewed that material yet, but needless to say that added to my miserable outcome.)

The worst bit is that some of the answers really confuse me. Like, why is 2+x+y a factor of 4-(x+y)^2? I do not understand that. At all.

~~And how does (3(-1)^n-1)/2^n create the geometric sequence 3/2, -3/4, 3/8?~~ Got it. Never mind.

(I also really, really need to review sequencing of all ilks. Only learned sigma's meaning today. Yikes.)

I am so, so screwed.

*meebbles*

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Averygoodun's Personal File

Going Beyond Fictitious Bounds

Entries tagged with rl

Nihilism: bred in the bone, or fostered through care?

Humph. Trump may be good for something after all.

Nothing bad to report! Yay!

The influence of the physical

Meh

Anyone want to call the Canadian Embassy for me?

I have been crowned

More good things

Life.

(no subject)

Hem hem...

Somewhat caught up...

Bullet points

Good thoughts/prayers requested

Selective memory for the win/fail?

Tired.

Bah.

Howeork. Erm, homework. Ugh. (But mostly good things.)

Heh.

flails