Averygoodun's Personal File

I dreamt that I lost my memory while at school. Not just my knowledge of the courses, but almost my entire memory. I couldn't remember where I parked my car, and then I realized I couldn't remember whether I had even driven. Or where I'd come from. Or where I was going. I knew my name, but that was about it.

To top it off, the class I was taking suddenly veered into learning Ancient Greek. (The worst bit about that was I couldn't keep up in my notes, and the teacher kept erasing the board.) Oh, and one of my classmates decided he wanted to kill me.

So, yeah. Not exactly a restful night.

On the other hand, in one of my dreams, as I was making my way through snowy, cold, empty-feeling neighborhoods, I passed a large man dressed in a dark blue, robe-like, hooded coat. I was keeping my head down, since I didn't belong in that neighborhood, but just as I passed him, I remembered some gleaning of a a community meeting I'd attended the day before (in real life) about the need to greet each other, so I turned and said, "Good day!" He turned and smiled at me, giving me a friendly greeting back which I didn't hear because I was stricken by how much he looked like my brother.

No metaphor there, or anything. ;-)

Well, whatever was wrong with me yesterday was cured by judicious lounging and dosing of medicinal teas. I lounged today away as well, just in case there was a relapse waiting in the wings. (And I mean "wings" almost literally, as it's been my pecks and shoulders that have been giving me the most bother.)

Tomorrow, school starts. I'm obviously prepared for it, as I've already had at least one anxiety dream about being so late for class that I missed it completely. Gotta love my brain.

I think that the pressure to finish this degree is starting to sink in, though. I suspect it will actually be better for us financially for me to be paying more to go to a big four-year university (though hopefully with lots of scholarships, so not too much more?) and get health insurance for the family through them than it is to remain/go back on Geoff's insurance (and ironically not be able to afford to go to a doctor, hence my decision to remain uninsured til then despite the law). So really, really need to finish before 2015, when the law will undoubtedly be in full effect for everyone.

Sigh. Stupid!Country is so stupid.

My Photography textbook is huge, ya'll. At least twice the size of the psychology text. Granted, I imagine it has at least twice the number of pictures, too... ;-)

I'm considering switching my psych class to the mornings, as that would eliminate a lot of extraneous stressors I hadn't thought of when I signed up for the afternoon classes. Such as early release days and odd acupuncture clinic hours... I guess I'll see if I like the teacher I've got before I meddle with things, though.

Aaaaaand, that's about that.

Hope your week goes well, and wish me luck in mine!

- Well, I'm glad I took Page into the doctor, as, apparently, the skin all around his left eye is infected. It does look absolutely terrible, with red, swollen lumpiness taking over, and I gave him a tylenol tonight because the pain started spiking. I can't remember her diagnosis, but, yeah. Oral and topical antibiotics have been started, as well as lots and lots of mandatory cuddling (his insistence, not mine. I only use the corporate cuddling tactic in extreme anger situations).

Plus side: it isn't contagious.

- I am on the second to last week of computer class. Thank god. It is kind of nice to learn all some of the things that Word 2010 can do, but, lord I don't like my teacher's rubric. Still trying to decide whether to take the Excel class with her next semester or save it for the Spring when I can choose a different teacher... I think I'm starting to lean towards a computer-filled Spring semester. Maybe take Human Growth and Development this fall...

- It's hot out. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwt. And it's supposed to get hotter as the week wears on. I suspect that tomorrow will find me actually dailing a phone to call friends with pools. (That is if Facebook messaging fails.) At least it dips into the 70's at night, which lets the (rising) humidity sink onto the ground a bit.

- The backyard might be completed soonish. The last pile of dirt was spread out today and the capstones were put in place, so it looks like they only have to have a few guys with rakes come over and finish up the smoothing out before they spray grass seed everywhere. Except, of course, for where they're still trying to figure out the drainage problem related to this house.

Did I mention how the other night I dreamt that the construction of a throughway was endangering the entire neighborhood, with houses of incremental closeness being torn down by earthmovers, and the neighbors in complete denial? *rolls eyes at drama queen subconscious*

- My bowl of rocks is very pretty... (Geoff isn't here to mention how tempted he always is to reach in and grab one of the "cookies". They are nice and round-like. :-)

- I have the foundation plants of my backyard design picked and planned out. Basically. I still have to choose a variety of rhodo, but otherwise I'm set. The fence will be lined with evergreen shrubs (the rhodo, pieris, and one each of China Girl/Boy hollies), and a golden elderberry will stand in front of the rhodo and pieris. I have yet to figure out the placement of the detail plants (hostas, ferns and the like), but I will. Oh, and a Sweet Autumn Clematis will be encouraged to climb all over the shed.

Oh, I am looking forward to having a shed!

- Bully for England, passing the gay marriage law. I wish conservatives here could see it the way Cameron does. Ah well. In time. Related to that, Page and I watched ST:NG, season 5's "The Outcast," which was a blatant allegory about the place of gays in American society. I am glad that in twenty years it isn't quite so bad in most American urban areas anymore, but it is discouraging that we have to keep having the same conversation over and over again. And that Riker's voice of reason gets overruled again and again and again...

Aaaaand, that's about it. I am feeling better, both mentally and physically, than I was yesterday around this time, even if it doesn't show through my words.

Horrible, nasty, vile, just... awful dreams last night. So many things were wrong, and wrong in such awful ways. ( Some minor details )

It was a relief to wake up and find that ALL of it, including the bits in which I had supposedly woken up (with relief), was a dream.

So. Need good things to counteract all that... nastiness.

Good thing 1: Gardening is a joy. It really, really is. I've been sneaking bits of time here and there to go take care of things (usually when my eyes have started burning from reading too much), and I always come back in beaming. It's difficult to limit myself, time-wise, but even ten minutes outside weeding will perk me up. I think it helps that the sun has been shining, so I'm getting my vitamin D. :-)

Good thing 2: Impromptu invites. In exchange for an aloe cutting (I recently repotted a few of my plants, and ended up with two aloes from one massive one), we were invited to dinner at a friend's house. It was lovely. It's been a long time since I'd seen any of them, and it reminded me of how much I do miss my friends. Almost enough to rejoin the church choir. Almost.

Good thing 3: There's only three days of school left. I will be studying for my accounting final today (I'd really like to ace it), and I am actually well on my way to getting prepared for the biology tests, whatever doubts and frustrations I spouted yesterday.

Good thing 4: It seems I was correct about the old car's driver's seat being the cause of my hip pain. I realized this weekend that my hip hasn't hurt to the same degree in a few weeks. In fact, my hip has been pretty much complaint-free. It's gotten to the point where I'm considering starting up walking again! I miss walking in the woods...

Good thing 5: Page picked up his legos from the common areas yesterday. You have no idea how much of a difference that makes to me.

Yes, (real) life is pretty good.

So, good things!

1. ( The best of recent good things. )

2. ( A neat dream was had last night. )

3. ( The rest of them. )

And now I need to go, as my eyes are starting to complain again.

So, this will sound bad, but, well, it's an interesting experience not being the smartest kid in the class. I haven't been in this position since high school (AP physics). It's both humbling and invigorating, actually, as it's spurring me to really work at figuring this stuff out.

( 'Science is hard!' says Barbie. )

( I'm a delicate flower. Boo. )

( Dreams )

But now I need to get going. No idea how much energy I'll have today, so I'd best not use what I do have on anymore verbal spewing.

I dreamt Geoff and I went to hear a modern witch talk about her experiences with healing. While a lot of what she said seemed counter-intuitive and silly (avoid all hot water because boiling water harms?), the idea that resonated was, "[Modern] medicine is not rational. If it were, we would have benign medications."

Her thesis was that western medicine pumps us full of toxic chemicals to try and kill the sick parts of us when there are other options that are more beneficial, even if they aren't "scientific" and therefore "rational."

Of course, science is trying to catch up with the alternative and intuitive remedies, like they now know why garlic might be an effective medicine, though they haven't, to my very limited knowledge, examined ginger in the same way, let alone the 'magic' combination of garlic, ginger and honey in hot water). Because, of course, science is limited to a very constrained methodology which is more about disproving rather than proving hypotheses. It takes a very long time to empirically "prove" anything. Especially in medicine where the placebo effect is a very powerful (counter)agent.

And, it seems to me, that healing is as much about intuitive knowledge of oneself and others. To be a healer of others, one needs to leave behind the personal blinders that are developed by dealing with our own issues, and be open to other possibilities we haven't experienced.

I think I'm in a rather stroppy mood again, seeing as I'm taking offense at silly things said online. This time, I think I will step away from the computer before I get fully enraged. I don't have the time or energy to spare for such silliness. Especially knowing it's of my own making, seeing as it's all a matter of interpretation.

( Health woes ) I guess rest and drinking lots and lots and lots of water is the ticket.

But there's so much to doooooooooo...

On the other hand, that couch does look inviting. And the new mattress pad makes the bed quite comfy... And I got another book out of the library.......

In other news, I got my haircut yesterday, and it's fabulous having short hair again. I took lots of pictures, but I can't share any of them as my computer isn't recognizing my camera anymore. Stupid computer.

And in further random news, I have started my travel anxiety dreams already. Last night's involved driving down to DC (where we have, in RL, a six-hour layover) in the pouring rain with streets flooding here, there and everywhere. The rain stopped just after we got into town, but we didn't have enough time to stop and really enjoy the delights of the city (which most definitely was NOT the real DC, as it was way too quirky and cool and hilly; it was much more like a huge Provincetown than DC), so as I was trying to find our way to the airport (following the directions of a curbside sombrero maker), I was telling Page what I would do if we did have the time to explore. Namely, I'd choose one major museum, finally see the Mall, and maybe go explore the shops in Georgetown.

It was kinda cool, as far as anxiety dreams go.

But now I need to actually decide what I'm going to do - work on the stuff that needs to get done or rest. I think I'll put the decision off for the moment and go bathe. Which, hopefully, will help with the decision-making. *nods*

ETA: Shower had, hair washed, and no decision made, so I'm going with resting. And I am pleased to say that the chicken stock I made the other day is really frikkin good. I think the key is the addition of a few cloves of garlic and bay leaves to the pot. I doubt that adds any nutritional value, but it sure makes it tasty!

TGIF!

Frankenstorm is coming!

I shall not mock the Fates and tell the truth about how utterly and completely worried I am. Suffice to say, we have not been part of the rush on the stores, or even (due to long lines and impatience) gas stations.

I suspect "Sandy" (Frankenstorm's official name) will be very much like Irene was last year, which was more bluster than muster up here. Unfortunately (although I can understand the reasoning), the school district has decreed tomorrow to be null and void. So yay. Page gets an extra long weekend. I don't get any.

( School blather )

( A nice dream, for a change! )


In less inspiring news, Geoff and I may have reverted back to the plan of replacing the car sooner rather than later. There really is something wrong with the front suspension. And the transmission is getting clunkier and more reluctant, too. Those two things, added to the list of things that we know are wrong, might actually negate the financial favor of keeping it. But, I don't know. It's still rather up in the air.

But, to end on a good note, I'm rewatching "Slings and Arrows" and reminding myself about what a wonderful show it is. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, do!

Also, because political season is (fiiiiiiinally!) coming to an end, I thought I ought to report that Joss Whedon has put in his figurative oar and endorsed Romney:

Well, I may have just received my first low A on a test. Not sure, but a few of the multiple choice questions were tricky in their wording, so it's possible I may have misinterpreted stuff.

I'm pretty sure I rocked the problems, though... Even if it made me twitchy not to do a journal entry for the last one but just calculate the amounts. (I triple checked the instructions, and it only said to calculate. No other instructions.)

Unfortunately, the shininess of school has officially worn off, and I'm beginning to not care. I mean, I do care about getting educated, and I will continue the slog, but... it's harder to care about the material. It's requiring discipline, darn it! I'm not good with discipline.

Of course, it doesn't help that I've determined I'm not going to go for a bachelors in accounting after all. Even if it is easy. But I am going to get my associates in accounting, and there's still 39 credits to go for that to happen. After this semester. *yawns*

Ach well.

( Randomness )

( Dream )

And now... I should go start some bone broth. Or have a nap. Or do my homework...


ETA: Oh, and I have a feeling that this is going to be a splendiferous winter. I think the exiting neighbors are stripping their place of anything and everything that can be removed. Including, if neighbor's help of a friend's pre-foreclosure stripping suggests, the furnace, kitchen cabinets, water heater and other basic things we here in the US tend to expect to be there when we move into or leave a place.

Which means, should someone buy it at auction, a noisy winter. If no one buys it, it means an expensive winter, as their place will be sapping the heat from ours. (I guess I should break out the blankets and decorate the inner walls, eh?)

I wonder if Geoff asked nicely whether they'd leave the building's sump pump in place and running? *sigh*