averygoodun42 | Entries tagged with humor

I am selective about what routines I follow, as I'm rather anti-authoritarian in nature (including the authority that is me), but recognize that I do have a few routines I do not like to have disturbed. One of the most sacrosanct is my morning goof-off routine: I get up, drink a big glass of water (usually with B12, C and D added), hustle the kid into to doing what needs to be done to get out of the house to catch the bus, then I make myself something to eat and sit myself in front of the computer for a sudoku and two crosswords.

I am flexible enough to allow myself to stay in bed and let Geoff deal with the hustling part every now and again (or always).

I have, alas, found that this routine is not necessarily in my best interest, so I have to change it. Which I don't want to, but if I don't, I won't feel good. Ever. Again.

I exaggerate. I won't feel good until the buried remains of today digs itself out of the earth! And then blooms.

So, yeah. My morning routine needs to include a light lamp. And exercise. And god, does that horrify me. (The exercise part, that is. The light lamp part is just boring.)

And there's nothing for it but to start. And restart. And restart again and again and again. Because, darn it, I do have quite the selective memory about things I don't want to do.

So here's to changing one's routine. Because "good enough" isn't.

I think I shall name it:

The Crux of the Matter: Life sucks, but it isn't worth dying over.

Definitely less ouchie today. I used pretty much all the tricks in the book yesterday (leaving out blood-letting, as it was too late in the illness for that to be effective), and feel almost alive today! I ate nearly 1/4 lb of fresh ginger, and about 3/4 a head of raw garlic (in my tea-less "tea"), soaked myself in ginger, epsom salts and baking soda, and basically did absolutely bugger-all. Oh, except going to get cracked. I think that helped, too.

By the end of the day, I was trying to compose a riff off of "T'was the night before Christmas" about suffering from and treating colds. I didn't get very far, though I thought it would start:

T'was the third day of headache
from sinuses stuffed
Not an atom was moving,
not even when snuffed
...
(skips many verses of woe to the bit of inspiration:)

More Ginger! More Garlic! More Vitamin C!
More liquids ingested, and down some more 'tea'!

...
Aaaaand, that's that.

Today I actually feel up to doing something, which is good, as I have to go to class. *glances at clock* Soon, too. And after that, I hope I will still feel well enough to get out and weed the yard a bit more. The grass really does need to be mowed this weekend, but I'd really like to get the weeds out before that happens.

Actually, a lot needs to happen this weekend, including the planting of the back yard (all the dirt (+some) has been moved!), but we'll see how it goes. I'm going to try for moderation. I'm terrible at that, but I'm going to try for it. ;-)

Anyway, gotta go.

Cheers and good weekends, all!

Darth Vader's theme in the style of Beethoven (I think it's much more listenable, personally, though perhaps not as effective...).

Awesome leopard seal encounter.

A less asshole-y version of "Blurred Lines". (The video is actually kinda amusing, unlike the official video, though perhaps not as funny as Jimmy Kimmel's version...)

A generous, doodling mom gets awesome results from letting her 4-year-old finish her drawings for her.

Aaaand, Simon Pegg is an adorable douche to his Star Trek castmates.

There. Now to go read yesterday's readings and try to wake up enough for today's class.

(Also, the kid is home sick with the same thing Geoff and I had. I'm glad Geoff is in town so I can go to class.)

Now the Satanists are ganging up against the Westboro Baptist Church.

Color me pink, indeed. XD

Meanwhile, it's still unbearably hot, though the humidity level has (temporarily) dropped to a more manageable 50%, which means the sweat oozes out rather than pouring out. Too bad a thunderstorm is acomin'.

I also stopped by the school and switched up my fall semester. I will not be taking Excel with this teacher. I shall be taking Human Growth and Development, instead (ETA: with a completely unknown teacher, btw. Not the same teacher... *rolls eyes at self*). Yay! Spring semester will be unpleasant with its emphasis on using computer software, but, well, tough noogies. Better than another class with this ditz.

So, errands run, now to finish this week's homework so I can goof off for a day or two. :-) Or put my energies into housework... :-(

;-D

Cheers!

Because I have been far too negative and bitchy and whiny lately. Far, far too much for the relative comfort of my position.

( Seven good things for seven grumpy days )

And now I should go finish this week's homework. :-)

Someone has a grudge against northern cardinals. And great suggestions for state birds to replace them.

( Blather. Pure blather. )

Star date 264326535.4:

We managed to stay on schedule despite being attacked by rogue beings that looked like tree roots on the planet Alpha Garden's surface. The commander made references to religious beings and places, several times, as we applied pressure from one direction and another with little success. We "pulled out all the tools in the tool box," as he said, and managed to "make it out alive." His statements seemed improbable exaggerations, as the beings were known to be tethered to the surface, allowing for us to retreat if necessary.

It was odd to find they were replications of their former selves, and that we had essentially been battling tactile shadows, however. Their remains have been laid to rest, and that quadrant is now clear of any hostile lifeforms. We have sent notice to Star Fleet that recolonization can occur safely now.

Tomorrow we will have the task of moving several old friends of the Federation to new homes. The captain commented that it is a shame we have not found the Astilbes a suitable final home at this time, but he believes it will not be long before we will find one. He assured me they will be comfortable in their temporary home in the meantime when I asked if we should be concerned for their well-being.

We will also be welcoming new Federation members. I do not understand why everyone laughed when the commander asked, "Where did all the Thyme go," though. Neither Thymians have disappeared; we are fully aware of where they currently are. We also are aware of where they will be once we ferry them to their respective homes, so his remark seemed curiously inane. I think it is supposed to be a joke, but when I asked why it was funny, they tried telling me about how time moves at different speeds at different times. I do not understand how quantum physics makes that statement funny, however.

It also seems highly disrespectful to make fun of the Thymians' name. However, the captain did not deem it worthy of recording as an offense against the commander. And yet, later, when I picked up L. Thyme, moved him to my other side, and said I was "just passing the Thyme," he reprimanded me.

Humans are strange.

First, a (darkly) funny video.

( The rest of the (mostly) randomness. )

~~But now it is time for bed. Although napping during the day this week has been good, I do need more nighttime sleep if I'm to get all the way better before school starts up again.~~

Stupid LJ. Although, at least it saved the entire draft!

But on the plus side, I got lousy sleep because the stuff in my sinuses finally decided to really move. So yay. My headache is much better (although still there), and I feel like the end of this thing is near.

Also, Geoff is coming home in a few hours. That'll be nice.

I went for Voldie, and LOLed at Darcy...
For the Puritans...
And just to be evil...

*cackles*

And something a little more honestly romantic (though laced with loads of Schadenfraude), is this beauty.

Giant goat-cheese fire closes Norwegian roadway for six days

The article itself is worth a read, too. It's "Onion" quality, but, well, real.

I've also been LOLing at George Takei's fb posts today. Especially the comparison fashion shot of the first lady (who has let her posture slide a surprising amount, judging by all the recent photos).

So, ever take the scissors to your eyebrows, think you've got the right amount on the blade, snip and then swear?

Yeah. That's what I just did. I now have one very funny looking eyebrow. And no, I am not going to snip the other one to match.

Fortunately, I have brown eyeshadow on hand to camouflage the error, but... Ooopsie.

Any idea how long it takes for eyebrows to grow? XD

Current Mood: embarrassed and amused

Frankenstorm is coming!

I shall not mock the Fates and tell the truth about how utterly and completely worried I am. Suffice to say, we have not been part of the rush on the stores, or even (due to long lines and impatience) gas stations.

I suspect "Sandy" (Frankenstorm's official name) will be very much like Irene was last year, which was more bluster than muster up here. Unfortunately (although I can understand the reasoning), the school district has decreed tomorrow to be null and void. So yay. Page gets an extra long weekend. I don't get any.

( School blather )

( A nice dream, for a change! )

In less inspiring news, Geoff and I may have reverted back to the plan of replacing the car sooner rather than later. There really is something wrong with the front suspension. And the transmission is getting clunkier and more reluctant, too. Those two things, added to the list of things that we know are wrong, might actually negate the financial favor of keeping it. But, I don't know. It's still rather up in the air.

But, to end on a good note, I'm rewatching "Slings and Arrows" and reminding myself about what a wonderful show it is. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, do!

Also, because political season is (fiiiiiiinally!) coming to an end, I thought I ought to report that Joss Whedon has put in his figurative oar and endorsed Romney:

Current Mood: complacent

Page: "Kirk's vibro-sword was set to stun."

...

Honest to god, that's an exact quote.

re: school.

As for politics, these are hugely amusing:

Romney's tax plan finally revealed!

Vice presidential debate, songified.

ETA: Oh, and the first presidential debate, songified, too!

Both of those debates clips are pretty non-partisan, and hilarious.

Oh, and here's the obligatory cheap shot at Romney.

And a factoid: Did you know that the NFL (National Football League aka American Football) is classified as a non-profit organization? I didn't before I got curious about how much net income they actually get from their $9 Billion revenue stream. (And the answer to my query was that in 2009, their net profit was over $47 million. Not bad for a non-profit, tax exempt organization, eh?)

Current Mood: apathetic

is up with me and my sinuses and tummy? ( Whining )

*

Thanks to some morning aside I can't remember, I have this running through my head:

I love Jimmy Buffett.

Makes me think of of a picture a fb friend posted of freaking Twilight fabric, with the werewolf clan in nothing but tight shorts (against a night-sky shadow of a traditional Hollywood werewolf) beside Edward looking over his shoulder in a winsome way. Hilarious and homoerotic liek whoa, all at the same time!

(Sorry I can't link you to the pic. Privacy settings, you know. But it was very much in the same vein as this.

*

On another front, do any of you remember the title to the SS/HG story with a pooka in it? Geoff and I re-watched Harvey last night, and it made me want to reread that fic.

*

And... I think I'm gonna go back to bed now. Read myself back to sleep and hopefully wake up feeling less whingy.

Good luck to all who have the deadline looming. May the muses be cooperative.

Current Mood: pouty

There's this bit of snarky wonderfulness.

This is the fucked up State I live in!

http://concord-nh.patch.com/articles/chaos-at-the-statehouse-as-rep-is-ejected-for-giving-nazi-salute-to-speaker-o-brien

Scroll down through the tweets. It's hilarious! (In a very, very sad way.)

Current Mood: amused

The lucrative, starry affair is bringing attention to Obama's show business ties just as his campaign is fending off criticism that he's more pop culture hotshot than effective statesman. A recent ad from the pro-GOP super PAC American Crossroads mocked Obama as a "celebrity president" (link)

But Ronald Reagan, the hero of Republicans everywhere, wasn't?

Granted, it has been said lately that Reagan wouldn't get elected nowadays as his positions (socially and fiscally) were far too moderate. Which is just... horrible.

*sigh*

On the plus side, Romney is a fairly moderate Republican for today's standards (according to his governing record), so the country won't be completely fucked if he wins. Only a little more so than if Obama wins, really.

Except, of course, for the LBGT community. They'll be completely screwed. (Not to mention women...) :-/

Current Mood: pessimistic

"New iPhone to get supermodel look -- no curves -- report says"

Best. Headline. Ever.

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Averygoodun's Personal File

Going Beyond Fictitious Bounds

Entries tagged with humor

Just routine, ma'am.

Should I ever write a non-fiction book...

On the mend

Linkies

And in brighter news...

Good things

Random

Done did and To do.

Various

Happy Valentine's Day

And the winner for best headline of the week is....

Ooopsie (feel free to laugh)

Gather the pitchforks!

The things kids say...

How I've been feeling lately

wtf...

On the plus side...

Bwahaha!

Bwahahaha!