Turkey in the Straw

[averygoodun42]

or, the tune at least...

Geoff and I wrote this after a wonderful day of dealing with Babe.

Our... Sweet... boy is cute
he's a real charmer, too
he will take you off your guard as he flirts with you
thank him kindly as he offers you a lump or two
ask him what it is, he'll answer, "That's my poo!"

Say accident
Or say it's a phase
Call it a tinkle
Call it feces
If it comes out of that place you sit
It still boils down to piss and shit

Jesus Effing Christ,
God, what's that awful smell
Did you sit down in a puddle or fall down a in well?
HOLY SHIT! NO! DON'T sit down on the bloody couch
Hie thee to the bathroom and strip right down

Why are your pants wet
What is that smell?
Come wash your clothes out
Yeah right, you 'fell'
If it comes out of that place you sit
It still boils down to piss and shit

What the fuck fuck fuck
what the bloody effing fuck
what the fuck is up with this shit shit shit
We clean it off his ass and we wash it down the drain
Look down in his pants and - fuck - there it is again

Say accident
Or say it's a phase
Call it a tinkle
Call it feces
If it comes out of that place you sit
It all boils down to piss and shit