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averygoodun42Yesterday evening, I was thinking about my sister-in-law, musing that I really ought to send her a note, even if it was a pathetic scrap just saying, "Thinking about you and wishing you well." I figured that maybe a random note might reassure her that I sure do love and appreciate her, even if my telephone communication "style" leaves that in doubt.
I wish I had.
Today the news came in that her step-son (G, whom she raised from toddler to teenager) had died. He was in his early twenties.
When she married her first husband, Bastard, he had two young children from two previous wives. Both wives were dead, so SIL became the kids' de facto mom.
She loved those kids. A lot. So much so that I think she stayed with Bastard for far longer than she probably wanted to, because leaving him behind meant leaving the kids behind. With him. However, there is only so much a person can put up with before a situation becomes intolerable. She finally reached that point after Bastard endangered her young son, Nephew, one too many times. (Nephew stopped wetting his bed a few months after the move. Yeah, it was bad.)
So, she left. She moved back in with her parents, which happened to be a good thousand miles away from Bastard and the kids.
I don't know, as I've never been quite so brash as to ask, but I bet anything she feels guilty for leaving them. I would. The kids didn't blame her, as far as I know (they kept in touch, sharing a past and a sibling), and despite having Bastard for a father-figure and 'guardian' for a couple more years, they somehow managed to grow up to be decent human beings. Yeah, they had hardships and missteps, but SIL was especially proud of G, who had become a thoughtful, decent and clean young man. So very, very different from his dad.
I never met G, and I doubt I'll ever meet his big sister, either (unless Geoff, Geoff's dad and BIL do go down and take care of Bastard like they offered to [given Bastard's probable (if unprovable) hand in the matter]), but I am really upset by this news. It's such a blow, and just when SIL's life was starting to turn around.
My heart is going out to all of them. Even Bastard, though in his case, I mainly hope he feels the pain of losing his son, even through his drugged out haze. It probably would do him (and the world around him) good.
I wish I had.
Today the news came in that her step-son (G, whom she raised from toddler to teenager) had died. He was in his early twenties.
When she married her first husband, Bastard, he had two young children from two previous wives. Both wives were dead, so SIL became the kids' de facto mom.
She loved those kids. A lot. So much so that I think she stayed with Bastard for far longer than she probably wanted to, because leaving him behind meant leaving the kids behind. With him. However, there is only so much a person can put up with before a situation becomes intolerable. She finally reached that point after Bastard endangered her young son, Nephew, one too many times. (Nephew stopped wetting his bed a few months after the move. Yeah, it was bad.)
So, she left. She moved back in with her parents, which happened to be a good thousand miles away from Bastard and the kids.
I don't know, as I've never been quite so brash as to ask, but I bet anything she feels guilty for leaving them. I would. The kids didn't blame her, as far as I know (they kept in touch, sharing a past and a sibling), and despite having Bastard for a father-figure and 'guardian' for a couple more years, they somehow managed to grow up to be decent human beings. Yeah, they had hardships and missteps, but SIL was especially proud of G, who had become a thoughtful, decent and clean young man. So very, very different from his dad.
I never met G, and I doubt I'll ever meet his big sister, either (unless Geoff, Geoff's dad and BIL do go down and take care of Bastard like they offered to [given Bastard's probable (if unprovable) hand in the matter]), but I am really upset by this news. It's such a blow, and just when SIL's life was starting to turn around.
My heart is going out to all of them. Even Bastard, though in his case, I mainly hope he feels the pain of losing his son, even through his drugged out haze. It probably would do him (and the world around him) good.
