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Oct. 6th, 2005 06:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
averygoodun42Okay, I don't know the exact meme, but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
randomchris said something about doing the "Chris Needs" google search meme, so I thought I'd do so with my name. Heh.
From the first page of results:
Elizabeth needs protection
Elizabeth needs both counseling and an attorney
Elizabeth needs a nuk (ie: pacifier)
Elizabeth needs to be loved, pursued and reassured
Elizabeth needs to be able to express her feelings to someone she trusts
Elizabeth needs to find something quick, and she only remembers a few keywords related to it
Elizabeth needs to feel two things about a manuscript in order to take it on: “I really like it” and “I think I can sell it.”
So, going further, I guess:
I work in the publishing industry and have been getting death threats from an irate author who feels I dismissed their manuscript unfairly, seeing as it was based solely on my biased judgment (duh!). I find the need to consult a counselor after the threats continue for months on end, wearing my fragile emotions down to the nub. I feel like there's no one out there who actually likes me, since all my time and mental energy is being taken up by the maniacal author bent on destroying my life and career.
The first counselor I find is someone who immediately incites my trust: I feel like I can express my deepest feelings without reproach, until in the third session she recommends that what I really need is dummy therapy. She suggests I get a nuk to suck on whenever I feel unbearably tense.
A little mortified, I remember some vague reference connecting pacifiers to a certain drug, but can't remember the keywords related to it closely enough to get a match after searching on google during my coffee break. I decide after "nuk therapy" doesn't yeild results that the counselor is a quack and decide to get reassurance from all my friends whom I'd temporarily forgotten but actually have reason to trust.
Soon after, the death threats die down and I get back to work as usual, sorting the bad manuscripts from the good (based solely on my biased opinion of whether I like them or can sell them), until one night the deranged author shows up at my house. It seems that over the quiet spell he's become obsessed with me and has taken to stalking me. As much as I have felt the need to be loved and pursued in the past, this was definitely not what I meant! Fortunately, I hadn't taken off my coat, so I pulled out my can of pepper spray and debilitate him so I can rush to my neighbor's house and call the cops. The next morning I seek the assistance of an attorney to issue a restraining order, and, just to make sure, I seek private protection.
Everything goes well until I find out (a bit late) that my issued rent-a-cop is yet another disgruntled author.
randomchris said something about doing the "Chris Needs" google search meme, so I thought I'd do so with my name. Heh.From the first page of results:
Elizabeth needs protection
Elizabeth needs both counseling and an attorney
Elizabeth needs a nuk (ie: pacifier)
Elizabeth needs to be loved, pursued and reassured
Elizabeth needs to be able to express her feelings to someone she trusts
Elizabeth needs to find something quick, and she only remembers a few keywords related to it
Elizabeth needs to feel two things about a manuscript in order to take it on: “I really like it” and “I think I can sell it.”
So, going further, I guess:
I work in the publishing industry and have been getting death threats from an irate author who feels I dismissed their manuscript unfairly, seeing as it was based solely on my biased judgment (duh!). I find the need to consult a counselor after the threats continue for months on end, wearing my fragile emotions down to the nub. I feel like there's no one out there who actually likes me, since all my time and mental energy is being taken up by the maniacal author bent on destroying my life and career.
The first counselor I find is someone who immediately incites my trust: I feel like I can express my deepest feelings without reproach, until in the third session she recommends that what I really need is dummy therapy. She suggests I get a nuk to suck on whenever I feel unbearably tense.
A little mortified, I remember some vague reference connecting pacifiers to a certain drug, but can't remember the keywords related to it closely enough to get a match after searching on google during my coffee break. I decide after "nuk therapy" doesn't yeild results that the counselor is a quack and decide to get reassurance from all my friends whom I'd temporarily forgotten but actually have reason to trust.
Soon after, the death threats die down and I get back to work as usual, sorting the bad manuscripts from the good (based solely on my biased opinion of whether I like them or can sell them), until one night the deranged author shows up at my house. It seems that over the quiet spell he's become obsessed with me and has taken to stalking me. As much as I have felt the need to be loved and pursued in the past, this was definitely not what I meant! Fortunately, I hadn't taken off my coat, so I pulled out my can of pepper spray and debilitate him so I can rush to my neighbor's house and call the cops. The next morning I seek the assistance of an attorney to issue a restraining order, and, just to make sure, I seek private protection.
Everything goes well until I find out (a bit late) that my issued rent-a-cop is yet another disgruntled author.
