averygoodun42 | (no subject) (Reply)

(My remarks are pretty obvious, but in case you're half-asleep or otherwise incapacitated, they are marked by parenthesis... Now on with the snarkiness! - Avery)

(Oh, and believe it or not, I erased A LOT of the spacing that was contained in the original email. That which remains is just to give you a sample of the fun someone had with the return key.)

-------original message-----------

Don't return - we can all use some good wishes??? (Well, maybe, but I think almost everyone has good wishes. It's the "good wishes coming true" that we maybe could use a little more of, don't you think???)

~ TIBETAN PERSONALITY TEST ~

Take your time with this test and you will be amazed. I did this last year when this came around and a spiritual wish I made did happen - in fact all year long. (huh.)

The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. (The test or the chain letter? If he instigated the chain letter then my respect for the man just went way, way down. He got demoted to mere mortal, and a very flawed one at that.)

Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you. (Some worked for me, others weren't accurate/surprising at all, but hey...)

Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat. (Do the inaccuracies mean I cheated [without knowing it], or does it just mean that I've got a broken parachute? Hmm...)

MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST! (Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!)

A warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.
(I suppose, but they're pretty straight-forward, non-influencing questions. Reading the "answers" before answering, *that* would void any honest results. You'd think they could be a little more accurate, but noooo...)

Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down.

Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best answer. Remember - no one sees this but you (unless you're doing this in a library, in which case the guy in the trenchcoat will be looking over your shoulder).

[end [most of] snarky comments till end of test (Far be it from me to be a metaphysical killjoy.)]

( 1 ) Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference: Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig

( 2 ) Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog, Cat, Rat,Coffee, Sea.

( 3 ) Think of someone, who also knows you and is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors.

(Argh! Bad translation! Bad! And that's being generous, because otherwise this was written by a half-literate ______ who should have failed English, but managed to graduate anyway because they could sign their name and their parents didn't want them to be held back. Thanks a lot, Bush, for the "No Child Left Behind Act.")

Do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color:

Yellow, Orange , Red, White, Green.

( 4 ) Finally, write down your favorite number, and your favorite day of the week.

FINISHED? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT. (DH sayeth: "My answers are what I really want? I don't want a sheep, a pig or a horse. I feel like I'm the guy in 'Green Eggs and Ham!'" I say, "How can I know what I really want unless I look at the answers before I answer the question? Are they actually encouraging me to cheat?")

Look at the interpretations below: But first before continuing, REPEAT your wish.

ANSWERS :

( 1 ) This will define your priorities in your life.

Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY

( 2 ) Your description of dog implies your own personality.

Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.

Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.

Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.

Your description of the sea implies your own life.

( 3 ) Yellow: Someone you will never forget

Orange : Someone you consider your true friend

Red: Someone that you really love

White: Your twin soul

Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

(What's the difference between Yellow and Green? Does Yellow mean NEVER forget, as in, you will remember this person as you are writhing in eternal damnation/gossiping with St. Peter at the pearly gates? Ooh, that reminds me of a joke...)

4 ) You have to send this message to as many persons as your favorite number and your wish will come true on the day that you recorded.
This is what the Dalai Lama has said about the Millennium - just take a few seconds ! to look it up, read it and think.
Do not put away this message, the mantra will come out from your hands in the next 96 hours (what? It isn't even in my hands in the first place!). You will have a very pleasant surprise.

This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

(*snort* Uh-huh. Definition of Superstition from www.m-w.com: [1 a) : a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, ***trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causation*** b): an irrational abject attitude of mind toward the supernatural, nature, or God resulting from superstition. 2: a notion maintained despite evidence to the contrary.] Is there empirical evidence that I will have a pleasant surprise, *even* if I'm not superstitious? Should I become superstitious so that I can get a pleasant surprise? Will God punish me if I decide to bow to superstition and do as the text says? Not to mention, the entire basis of a chain letter is to prey (pray?) on the superstitious!

Besides which, I really, really doubt that the Dalai Lama said, "just take a few seconds to look it up, read it and think," about the Millennium. His thoughts tend to run a little more coherently and with a tad more substance than that!)

Please do this. It is fascinating. SEND THIS E- MAIL MANTRA TO AT LEAST FIVE PERSONS AND YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE. (Chain letters always improve life, as said in the Buddhist philosophy: use others' fear to obtain the fullness of life you know you deserve.

I'm posting it because the "mantra" is kinda interesting, and it gives me a chance to vent about chain email [I'm taking the opportunity to live life to its fullest?])

(And then there was the obligatory bullshit:)

0-4 persons: Your life will improve slightly
5-9 persons: Your life will improve to your liking
9-14 persons: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next three weeks
15 or more persons: Your life will improve drastically and all that you wish will come true
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BAH! If I had just received the test as a personality quiz without the necessity of sending it along I probably would have sent it to everyone I know who enjoys that kind of thing. When they included the words: "SEND THIS E-MAIL MANTRA TO AT LEAST FIVE PEOPLE..." I suddenly had absolutely no desire to send it further. Threaten me or promise me something for sending something along and I will disregard it as the trash it is, which in this case is almost a shame - had it been well written. I will NOT be bribed by superstition, thank you very much.