Ranty rant rant rant rant (and only tangentially related to politics!)

[averygoodun42]

So... I got a call from Page's school's behavioral specialist today. Seems Page hit another student because he was having a bad day.

From the call, I assumed that Page actually attacked the kid(s), but upon hearing the story from Page's side after Page came home, it seems what happened was that he tripped over T's foot, fell, got up and whacked T with his empty coat sleeve. T then went and told on Page.

Now, I ask you, do you think that warrants a SUSPENSION?!?!?!?! It didn't even get him on red, for fuck's sake!!!

(No, Page is not suspended, but that was brought up as, basically, a threat for us to do something or else.)

*growls great big badgery growls*

What really, REALLY ticks me off, is this is the first event in a month. A full month. Page has been moody and cheerful and everything in between, but he has been on green and staying out of trouble for a FULL month. But, because T is a complainer and has hypersensitive parents (<-- IMO, and without facts to back me up), I get a call telling me this better be due to a medical condition or else Page is a "threat to the other children."

*growls again*

After the third time the specialist told me the facts as she saw them (and the fact that this goes into Page's permanent record, thanks to the bully laws... WTF! Judging teenagers on their first-grade behavior? How... asinine can you get?!?), I was very, very close to hanging up on her, but managed to restrain myself as I really didn't want to leave the wrong impression. Or get DS called on me. Instead, I spoke veeeery slowly and used the smallest words I could think of to convey the fact that I understood her. It took three tries.

And I'm not sure she ever really did hear me. When I expanded on the reasons for us not having chatted with Page's doctor yet about those forms to include Page not being insured until this Monday, she then went on and on about places with sliding scales. Now that we DO have him on insurance.

*rolls eyes*

*huffs*

OMG, I so mad. And not at Page. Yes, I will get Page into counseling as he does need to be able to express and deal with his emotions better, but for fuck's sake, just because HE isn't a complainer (you have to drag the story out of him), do not fucking treat him like a criminal!!!

*breathes*

I also have issues with how the schools are presenting anti-bullying information, as well. I think that a lot of what the younger kids are getting from the anti-bullying programs is that if someone isn't being nice to you, you're being bullied. Which is... so incredibly unhelpful it's... It's a recipe for disaster, is what it is. It's like correlating the term "respect" to "fear." It's a destructive misinterpretation.

It would be great if everyone learned to be really nice to one another, yes! But just think of how these emotional wimps are going to react when they are presented to the wider world that really doesn't give a damn about their feelings? Not to mention that being "nice" can be a very powerful manipulation tool and can also cause the deepest wounds (she says from experience).

Oh. I am... Just.

I need tea, I think. I am not going to calm down until I have some. And then I can write an email to Page's teacher to ask what the dynamic between T and Page really is (if Page is bullying T, i.e. targeting T for humiliation/violence, then I will be angry that it's taken so long for it to come to our attention). I am not going to make waves with the administration until I have all the facts, though. Just because I believe my son, who has a very good record for being honest even when it's not in his favor, doesn't mean I don't want verification.


One thing I will say: this makes me sympathize with conservatives and libertarians even more on their anti-government crusades. However, I still say the alternative is far too grim to consider.

(And, if it were needed, the circumstances behind Page's bad day are: Cranky mom who snapped at him because he was dawdling and doing everything except what she asked of him in the morning and trying other power plays that drove her into a minor tantrum taken out on a container of pork, shoes that hurt (because he couldn't find his proper shoes - another cause of friction between mother and child), another loose tooth, and a dad who's out of town for the second time in as many weeks and passed on the news last night that he'll be delayed coming home. And HE'S A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD BOY!!! FFS, people!!! Sheesh!)

Comments

[junewilliams7.livejournal.com]

what the younger kids are getting from the anti-bullying programs is that if someone isn't being nice to you, you're being bullied.

Then those kids report on the kid who isn't being nice to them, thus BECOMING bullies for getting the kid in trouble. Idjits...

[(Anonymous)]

"... (those blasted boys) could leave nothing alone. If they saw a tin, they must kick it; a poster, they drew on it and tore it; a fly, they must catch it. They took it out of each other too; if a boy were near another boy, perfectly friendly, after a moment he would kick or punch, and after a moment they would start scuffling, twisting and wrestling; they could not sit next to each other on the bus without driving their elbows into or kicking one another. There was no ill will, no malice, as there would have been with girls. It was as if there were-a fizz in them... that bubbling, bottled-up energy."

Rumer Godden "An Episode of Sparrows"

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

I actually have my suspicions about T's motives... While I find it difficult to burden a 6-7 year-old with malicious intent, I do find it kind of suspicious that T would get up in Page's face, without touching him, and then go crying to teacher when Page hit him, knowing as everyone did, that Page was prone to hitting... He's either really dumb or a nascent bully.

But yes, this new system is stupid. However, I would say it's not training bullies, necessarily, but snitches. The bullies are the ones who will say, "Do X for me or I'll tell..."

[paisleysnail.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Tea definitely sounds like a good idea.

[septentrion1970.livejournal.com]

you're right all along. /hugs/

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

I agree with everything you say. Total loss of perspective from TPTB.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Lorazapam (anti-panic attack medicine) was actually in order. Though I had lots of tea, too. ;-j

*hugs back* Thanks.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

I wish the laws/rules were on my side, but it looks like it isn't. Rule by committee is... *sigh*

/hugs back/

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I wish... I wish rules made by committee weren't always doomed to be so fucking stupid. Because I don't really want to have laws created by only one person. But... Common sense, people!

That said, the policies are truly against us in this case. And this morning Page was suffering from anxiety attacks at the thought of going back to school. Oh. Joy. (fuckers)

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

We've outlawed boyish behavior hereabouts. For the greater good, you know.