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Jul. 30th, 2007 11:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
averygoodun42Have I said lately how much I hate mosquitos? 'Cause I do. With a passion. Perhaps I wouldn't hate the little bloodsuckers so much if I didn't react to them so badly, but... I got a bite on my ankle two days ago. Has it gone away yet? No. It's growing, in fact.
Aside from mosquitos, I have come to a disheartening conclusion. My brain has gone to mush. It used to be that when I was presented with a new idea or concept, I could think it over and come to a conclusion in about 24 hours. It wasn't just a matter of being more certain about how things worked and of my opinions, although that certainly was a part of it, but I was able to organize my thoughts more clearly and come to rational decisions within a day.
Now, it's more like a month before I know what I think of something.
I have similarly found my ability to write essays has evaporated. It's funny that even as I get better (I say with hope more than certainty) at writing stories, I have lost the ability to focus in the manner that essays require.
I'm sure it is just laziness and I could easily relearn the abilities. After all, before I went to college, my brain had been getting pretty soggy, and I think I was pretty good at critical thought when there.
But... It's been five years now.
I wanna go back to school. I really, really do. And NOT online classes. A degree is not my goal (although it would be nice), but rather an exchange of ideas and stimulation of brains within a physical room.
*sigh*
Someday. In the meantime, I have to squeeze my brain into shape and try to figure out how to write the next bit of my story. Hopefully this little, tiny exercise will keep the atrophy from advancing too quickly.
Aside from mosquitos, I have come to a disheartening conclusion. My brain has gone to mush. It used to be that when I was presented with a new idea or concept, I could think it over and come to a conclusion in about 24 hours. It wasn't just a matter of being more certain about how things worked and of my opinions, although that certainly was a part of it, but I was able to organize my thoughts more clearly and come to rational decisions within a day.
Now, it's more like a month before I know what I think of something.
I have similarly found my ability to write essays has evaporated. It's funny that even as I get better (I say with hope more than certainty) at writing stories, I have lost the ability to focus in the manner that essays require.
I'm sure it is just laziness and I could easily relearn the abilities. After all, before I went to college, my brain had been getting pretty soggy, and I think I was pretty good at critical thought when there.
But... It's been five years now.
I wanna go back to school. I really, really do. And NOT online classes. A degree is not my goal (although it would be nice), but rather an exchange of ideas and stimulation of brains within a physical room.
*sigh*
Someday. In the meantime, I have to squeeze my brain into shape and try to figure out how to write the next bit of my story. Hopefully this little, tiny exercise will keep the atrophy from advancing too quickly.
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no subject
Date: 2007-08-02 04:47 am (UTC)I don't think there's anything wrong, really, it's just... brain fog. I'm not really comparing myself to the general populace, but with myself. It takes longer to wrap my brain around concepts that I know I would get in a shorter time span if I could just think clearly.
But, yes, community college is a good option. It's one of those things I will be looking into soon. :-)