On the positive side
Aug. 22nd, 2007 11:01 pmI realize I've been posting mostly about the bad stuff in my life. This gives the skewed view that I think my life is horrible and there's nothing at all that I like about it and why don't I just go and die. Thing is, the odds are about 1:10 that I'll feel that way. It's nasty when it happens, and it has been coming up fairly frequently lately, but the odds are actually against that ruling my life. Even now.
So, I thought I'd post about the good things. Try to balance the scales and such.
So, first there's Babe. Yes, he's a load and a half, and contrary and stubborn and infuriating, especially now that he's discovered the concept of independence, but he is a darling. Not only does he have an innate gift of dealing with people ("Hi, X, how are you?") but his imagination is starting to really develop. For example, he was playing out back in the dirt, moving it around and generally making a mess as children are apt to do. It looked like fairly meditative, brainless behavior until he came racing into the house, grabbed his matchbox truck off the counter (where, I suspect, he had put it) and then raced back to the dirt pile and started driving the truck around. There are many other examples, but that's the freshest.
He's also learning reason and rudimentary logic. ("The person who throws the banana peel away is the person who gets to eat the banana!" I say, prompting him to throw the peel away.) I can use the backyard example again. Geoff was home for lunch, and I was busy in the kitchen, so Geoff asked Babe to stay in the front yard where he could see him. Well, Babe might not have stayed in the front year, but he did stay on our property where he was within eyesight. He's learning to listen to us, knowing that if he doesn't, he gets a time-out. It's taken long enough, and it's not always so, but he is showing comprehension.
He's also asking why now. And listening to the answer. I told him not to sit on the coffee table. He continued sitting there, testing me, until I threatened a time-out. Then, he reluctantly put one foot on the floor and asked me why. I told him the table wasn't strong enough to support his weight. At that, he got off the table without any further hassle or even reluctance. He gets it.
This makes me very happy. Very, very happy.
What also makes me happy is he's slowly, ever so painfully slowly, learning to enunciate. Today he was telling Geoff something, and Geoff misheard the name of the person Babe was "calling" as Max. So, when Geoff asked about Max, Babe scowled, shook his head and said, "Not Max, Matt." It wasn't as clear as that, but we could tell the difference! It's awesome, I tell you! I love that he's growing up!
He's also making headway on the potty thing, at least recognizing when he has to go. This is good. Maybe by his third birthday he'll be ready.
Okay. Now Geoff. I've been Geoff-bashing pretty badly lately, which is a shame because he still remains a wonderful man. He has his faults, and they're aggravating as all get out, but I love him dearly. I've been underestimating just how much I love him lately due to aggravations, but, well, he still keeps the bogeyman at bay. His touches still melt me, relax me and center me like nothing else. If I can't cuddle up to him (which has been a problem what with the heat), I don't sleep as well. And that isn't just because i'm used to him. As I said, he keeps the bogeyman at bay. Just knowing he's near brings me down from nightmares, and banishes the monsters.
A specific example of the goodness of Geoff was that I was sitting here pouting at the computer (solitaire wasn't being nice to me), and he came up and gave me a face and head massage. Despite the fact that I had been ignoring him, Despite the fact that I've been in a bad mood (and therefore not very pleasant) with him.
For balance's sake I know I should provide more examples, but I'll leave it at that for right now.
Another thing I'm thankful for is the cooler weather. Not only have I been able to get outside and work on the patio (which I started in March when the weather was mild) and made considerable progress, but I've also started cooking and baking again. I forget how much the smell of freshly baked bread soothes my soul. I wish I could knead it properly, but I'm super thankful that I have a mixmaster powerful enough to do it for me. In many ways, even if the exertion isn't there, I'm still the one doing the work of putting the ingredients together and forming the dough, so I'm the one making the bread. I don't think it's the same at all with a bread maker machine. Easier isn't always better.
Today I didn't get out to work on the patio, which was silly of me, but I did make cookies. I tried a variant of the recipe
millennia2 posted the other day using chocolate pudding rather than the vanilla, and reducing the sugar by 1/2 cup. I also experimented with flavorings, and decided next time I make the cookies, I will reduce the sugar another 1/4 to 1/2 cup (get rid of the white sugar altogether) and use 1/4 - 1/2 tsp peppermint extract, because the mint experiment was a total success. I'm looking forward to trying the coconut variation, but the store I went to was out of that pudding.
So. Life may be hard, and at times unbearable, but there are good things mixed in and I am doing my best to try and keep the good things in mind when making my choices. I'm also trying very hard not to flagellate myself when I do something stupid. Sometimes it's easier than others. Happily, this is one of those times.
:-)
So, I thought I'd post about the good things. Try to balance the scales and such.
So, first there's Babe. Yes, he's a load and a half, and contrary and stubborn and infuriating, especially now that he's discovered the concept of independence, but he is a darling. Not only does he have an innate gift of dealing with people ("Hi, X, how are you?") but his imagination is starting to really develop. For example, he was playing out back in the dirt, moving it around and generally making a mess as children are apt to do. It looked like fairly meditative, brainless behavior until he came racing into the house, grabbed his matchbox truck off the counter (where, I suspect, he had put it) and then raced back to the dirt pile and started driving the truck around. There are many other examples, but that's the freshest.
He's also learning reason and rudimentary logic. ("The person who throws the banana peel away is the person who gets to eat the banana!" I say, prompting him to throw the peel away.) I can use the backyard example again. Geoff was home for lunch, and I was busy in the kitchen, so Geoff asked Babe to stay in the front yard where he could see him. Well, Babe might not have stayed in the front year, but he did stay on our property where he was within eyesight. He's learning to listen to us, knowing that if he doesn't, he gets a time-out. It's taken long enough, and it's not always so, but he is showing comprehension.
He's also asking why now. And listening to the answer. I told him not to sit on the coffee table. He continued sitting there, testing me, until I threatened a time-out. Then, he reluctantly put one foot on the floor and asked me why. I told him the table wasn't strong enough to support his weight. At that, he got off the table without any further hassle or even reluctance. He gets it.
This makes me very happy. Very, very happy.
What also makes me happy is he's slowly, ever so painfully slowly, learning to enunciate. Today he was telling Geoff something, and Geoff misheard the name of the person Babe was "calling" as Max. So, when Geoff asked about Max, Babe scowled, shook his head and said, "Not Max, Matt." It wasn't as clear as that, but we could tell the difference! It's awesome, I tell you! I love that he's growing up!
He's also making headway on the potty thing, at least recognizing when he has to go. This is good. Maybe by his third birthday he'll be ready.
Okay. Now Geoff. I've been Geoff-bashing pretty badly lately, which is a shame because he still remains a wonderful man. He has his faults, and they're aggravating as all get out, but I love him dearly. I've been underestimating just how much I love him lately due to aggravations, but, well, he still keeps the bogeyman at bay. His touches still melt me, relax me and center me like nothing else. If I can't cuddle up to him (which has been a problem what with the heat), I don't sleep as well. And that isn't just because i'm used to him. As I said, he keeps the bogeyman at bay. Just knowing he's near brings me down from nightmares, and banishes the monsters.
A specific example of the goodness of Geoff was that I was sitting here pouting at the computer (solitaire wasn't being nice to me), and he came up and gave me a face and head massage. Despite the fact that I had been ignoring him, Despite the fact that I've been in a bad mood (and therefore not very pleasant) with him.
For balance's sake I know I should provide more examples, but I'll leave it at that for right now.
Another thing I'm thankful for is the cooler weather. Not only have I been able to get outside and work on the patio (which I started in March when the weather was mild) and made considerable progress, but I've also started cooking and baking again. I forget how much the smell of freshly baked bread soothes my soul. I wish I could knead it properly, but I'm super thankful that I have a mixmaster powerful enough to do it for me. In many ways, even if the exertion isn't there, I'm still the one doing the work of putting the ingredients together and forming the dough, so I'm the one making the bread. I don't think it's the same at all with a bread maker machine. Easier isn't always better.
Today I didn't get out to work on the patio, which was silly of me, but I did make cookies. I tried a variant of the recipe
So. Life may be hard, and at times unbearable, but there are good things mixed in and I am doing my best to try and keep the good things in mind when making my choices. I'm also trying very hard not to flagellate myself when I do something stupid. Sometimes it's easier than others. Happily, this is one of those times.
:-)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-23 04:33 am (UTC)I really don't *like* kneading a lot and the traditional knead/rise cycles take too long for my daily routine - but I got a bread book from the library a while back called 'No Need to Knead' (by Suzanne somethingorother...) which had some fabulous recipes in it. The Focaccia only takes about an hour start to finish, and it smells so good! Almost every recipe in the book only took 90 minutes or so.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 08:27 pm (UTC)I can't knead as it bothers my wrists. I think I have the beginnings of carpal tunnel, so kneading just aggravates that. So I don't get the upper body work out. *shrugs* But otherwise, I like the slow rising time scale. I know that I can go out and do something in-between caring for the dough, mostly because I've figured out exactly how long it needs. Only once have I let it go too long and had it collapse, but that was on a first rise, so it wasn't a disaster or anything. *shrugs again*
no subject
Date: 2007-08-23 03:11 pm (UTC)What a wonderful husband to give you a head and neck massage. My husband used to do that for me until he became sick with several autoimmune disorders. Now we have to focus on him.
I'll have to try the cookie variation you posted. I'm not good at experimenting with recipies, I'm afraid I would totally mess it up.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 08:21 pm (UTC)Ergh. Sorry that your husband is sick. I don't honestly know how hard that is, as I've always been the sick, fragile one, but I can well imagine. :(
Cookies are fun to experiment with because they're so difficult to really mess up. The only thing I've noticed is that if you cut the sugar down too much, their texture changes to something crisper. :-)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 08:15 pm (UTC)Yes, yay for Geoff and that wonderful face/head massage. It was awesome of him.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 07:06 pm (UTC)It's so strange to me that I haven't met Babe!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-24 08:11 pm (UTC)I wish you could meet Babe. I think he'd love you (and, I suspect you'd like him quite a lot, too).