averygoodun42 | Today it starts

One of the cards I drew in one of my tarot readings was the 9 of Swords - Cruelty. It means more self-cruelty than outside forces, and, you know, it's true. I've been abusing myself horribly. So, it stops now. I wouldn't put up with it if anyone else was doing it to me, so I shall not put up with it coming from me, either.

So... Today I start The Diet. The diet to end all diets but is absolute hell to both get and stay on. The diet that basically cuts out everything but meat and vegetables. Even potatoes are a no-go. Basically, it's a stricter version of the Atkins Diet.

Most people would qualify this as self-torture, but the thing is, I've been failing lately and I know this diet makes me better. I have more energy when on it, my skin gets better, my teeth whiter, my headaches less frequent, pain in general decreases, my moods stabalize... It's good.

I'm hoping that staying on my meds (not supposed to) will keep the usual healing crisis at bay until I get strong enough to go off them completely again.

So, anyway, it's going to be hard, especially with the sugary food in the house right now, and the fact that I'm going to continue making bread for Babe's sandwiches, but... I need this, so I'll make it work. I will.

I want to be healthy enough to work again. I need to be.