Because it's that kind of day
Mar. 11th, 2009 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
averygoodun42They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services...
---
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
---
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
---
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
---
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
---
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
---
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
---
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
---
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
---
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
---
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
---
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
---
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
---
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
---
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
---
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare' s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
---
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
---
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge... Up Yours"
---
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
---
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
---
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
---
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
---
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
---
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
---
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
---
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
---
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
---
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
---
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
---
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
---
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
---
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
---
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
---
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
---
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
---
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
---
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
---
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
---
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
---
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
---
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
---
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare' s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
---
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
---
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge... Up Yours"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 06:40 pm (UTC)British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 10:15 pm (UTC)*giggles helplessly*
Yay. =)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-12 02:11 pm (UTC)Pssst.
Date: 2009-03-12 03:26 pm (UTC)Re: Pssst.
Date: 2009-03-12 05:05 pm (UTC)*smooches*