averygoodun42 | A man walks into a bar...

Okay, here's two of my favorite jokes, which you've probably heard before.

(Please forgive translation errors. I've never even visited Ireland and therefore have little knowledge of the accent or language. My apologies.)

A man walks into a pub outside Dublin, sits down at the bar and orders a pint. The bartender obliges him, then goes about his business.

Soo after, another man walks into the bar, sits down next to the first and orders a pint.

After a couple rounds of ale, both men are feeling rather mellow and in good cheer. The first one looks to the other and introduces himself.

"I'm (hic) Michael."

"And I'm (hic) Ian," replies the other.

"And where do you hail from Ian?" Michael asks.

"Oh, I'm from a town (hic) outside Wicklow, born and raised."

"Really?" Michael says, amazed, "So am I!"

"Oh, I grew up on the North side near the piers."

"Really? So did I!"

"Oh! So you know about St. Peter's secondary?" Ian asks.

"Know about it? I went there!"

"Really? So did I!" Ian exclaims, getting excited.

"Yes, I went there, the same as my five brothers, though my sister went to St. Theresa's over in Bunbridge."

"That's amazing. You have five brothers and one sister, too?"

The pair continue exchanging information, growing more and more amazed at how much they have in common. They are buying each other another round of pints when a third man walks in and goes up to the bar to order a pint. As the bartender is filling his glass, the third man observes the pair who are now gesturing wildly and clapping each other on the back with each new similarity.

The third man gestures to them and asks, "So, what's the deal with them?"

Bartender glances over at the pair, then back to the stranger.

"Oh, it's just the O'Malley twins getting drunk again."

(budum ching!)

Three nuns died and went to Heaven. They arrive at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter greets them warmly.

"Welcome, sisters. I am so glad to see you. Now, I know each of you lived virtuous lives, but the rules state that I must test you before I can let you into Heaven. So I will ask each of you one question."

He looks at the eldest nun and greets her by name.

"Sister Anna, you've lived a long and productive life, enriching the lives of many with your kindness. So answer this: who was the first man?"

Sister Anna looked a bit stunned at the question, but answered, "Adam, of course."

Bells rang, Angels sang and the Pearly Gates opened. Sister Anna waved good-bye to her fellow sisters as she entered the kingdom of Heaven.

St. Peter, meanwhile, turned to the second nun.

"Sister Mary. You've lead a an exemplary life. You've fed the poor, taught the ignorant and upheld the Lord's word. So answer me this: Who did Adam give his rib for?"

"Eve," Sister Mary answered, relieved the question was so easy.

Bells rang, angels sang, and the Pearly Gates opened wide.

Finally, St. Peter looked upon the third nun with a fond smile.

"Sister Theresa. You were an inspiration to all your students. You encouraged their minds and fed their faith by your gentle instruction. You abided by your vows faithfully, teaching even those who weren't your pupils how to live by your example. My question for you is, what were Eve's first words upon seeing Adam?"

Sister Theresa was stunned. The other nun's questions were easy, but this one... She let out a breath and muttered to herself, "Ooh, that's a hard one!"

Bells rang, angels sang, and the Pearly Gates opened.

Good night. :)