(no subject)

[averygoodun42]

So... We all went to the psych eval and... He agrees that Page is probably on the spectrum, but isn't going to diagnose it at this point. Instead, we, his introverted, borderline (possibly not even borderline in my case) spectrum disorder parents have to teach our kid normal social behaviors.

I'm kinda freaking out about this. Like, I'm seriously considering taking a literal chill pill (ativan) because of the anxiety this is producing. (Who is the one needing therapy here? lol)

This also means that Page will not be getting an IEP or 504, which means he better be getting some awesome teachers with tons of experience.

On the plus side, the shrink did strongly recommend that Page be seen by a GI specialist, so I've made the call for a referral. If I don't have it by the end of the day (or 4-ish), I will call again about it. And Page now has a new pediatrician (his old one is retiring at the end of this month).

I'm just... angry at myself. I know Page has anxiety issues, and I could not for the life of me think of any examples besides those involving potential physical pain. I couldn't think, or really even talk, during the whole hour and a half session. Fortunately Geoff was there, but he was more concerned about Page's occasional outbursts and general rigidity rather than the everyday anxiety (which is probably one of the underlying causes of both the outbursts and the rigidity), because that's what left the biggest impression on him.

Gah!

*breathes*

However. Good did come of this meeting, and I will be taking some of the advice to heart. Arranging and organizing the regular peer play dates is going to be tough (neither Page nor I like group activities; oh god, do I have to? yes), but doable. I can think of a few kids just from church he can play with over the summer right off the bat. We might be rejoining Cub Scouts, as Spiral Scouts is... not organized enough (in structure), not to mention one of the kids who attends is... Well, let's just say he and Page are a bit too alike; neither will let anything go, and both have to be right. It's never good.

Also, since Page now has a new pediatrician (and no diagnosis), I can fill out the forms to get him started on his occupational therapy (a couple months from now). Which should help.

And he will be continuing therapy, which should help. It will at least help give him the vocabulary necessary to bullshit his way through life. Should he choose to use it...

Ah well. I think I am going to go play with another section on quadratics, and then dig out my back garden plans, or paints, or something else creative-like. I need to get away from the computer, though. And preferably get outside.

Comments

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

Why can't you have a 504 plan? What reason did the psych give for not giving you an actual diagnosis? Does this psych even minimally understand what is necessary to get the schools to appropriately deal with kids on the spectrum?

You should write it all out in text, if your face-to-face anxiety keeps you from providing everything the psych needs to do his job. Read it like a speech, if you have to. Page has a right to appropriate care and the psych has to give it, whether you're also likely on the spectrum or not.

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

The reason is that Page "might just grow out of it in a couple of years with behavioral therapy." However, as my psych pointed out this morning at my appt, I just need to call him and tell him what's what with the school situation. I think I will get Geoff to call him, though. My words still aren't being very cooperative atm.

*big sigh* Hate this. Don't know how you manage, Juni. Don't have a clue.

[juniperus.livejournal.com]

It's hard. There is no sugar-coating, I'm not going to lie to you--it's hard. It requires research before key appointments, like this, so you have time to process the possible information (and have prepared questions, if you need that to have a voice). It's about being ready to fight before something has become a Problem, because while getting the school to deal with it before is hard, getting them to cooperate in a way that's best for your son is likely to be harder. It'll both make you more appreciative of teachers who really care and more deeply condemning of those who just phone it in (same thing with administrators, and you'll meet both kinds, at some point). You'll learn as much about yourself as you will about your son. You'll become intimate with a new brand of honesty based not in someone else's expectations of How Things Should Be, but in How Things Actually Are. And you'll become aware of an undercurrent of panic (it sounds like a ticking clock and looks like the time you have to prepare your son for the rest of his life falling through an hourglass) that you can't let carry you away. You can't. Build yourself an internal mill, let that undercurrent turn a water wheel that keeps you supplied with the energy to go on. Seriously--find your visualization and run with it, but don't let the anxiety carry you away.

You'll make mistakes. Some you'll recognize immediately or the next day, others in hindsight. Don't beat yourself up--there is nothing about motherhood that makes you less human, and that goes double for kids whose needs go beyond the typical--just recognize and move on, And tomorrow is always a new day. Always.

But hard isn't impossible, it's just hard. You can do hard. You've done hard, before. You can do this.

That being said, I'm a little concerted about the notion that Page will outgrow being in the spectrum, as if its an outfit, particularly when it's clear he's an apple that, in ways you've already identified, hasn't fallen far from the tree. Research being done now, that our pediatrician has been involved with, strongly suggests definite genetic connection. One does not outgrow genes. While some behaviors can be matured through and altered with work and time, his core is his core and that ain't changin'. Your gut--what is it telling you?

*hugs and tea*

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

*glomps back*

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

*so many hugs*